VELVETSKINNED

CNY'12 ☺

2012-01-29T01:30:00.000+08:00

Hi, here's the late post on CNY'12. Oh and im down with nauseuosness and vomitting few days ago, then to bloated stomach and now flu. Fml, sudden weak immune system. Doc gave me pills for nauseousness, bloating and diarrhoea. And yeah I got nauseous all these is cos of germs spread to me, and I have no appetite for anything and I didnt feel hungry at all for days. Sucks to be sick, really.

Okay so CNY day 1, outfit was

Just ignore the face okay LOL. But yeah my toe was injured, made wearing heels hurt like hell. So I went to my cousin's house first to have lunch. Most of the Tay family was there, so we set off for visiting tgt. Collected quite alot of angpaos on the first day :D But open up mostly $4 one. Oh well at least its still money. Oh and took a few photos.

Nephews Rhesa and lynus on the top, baby cousin jiaxin below :D Damn they're all so cute. Always high fiving with me and whenever they say bye, they be like "byebye! Muack!" Heh I only meet my newphews yearly, will miss them!

The last stop for day 1 is always at my aunt's house at chinatown. Then we'll gamble and have dinner there!

Day 2's outfit was

Really love this outfit :D Didnt go to much places during day 2, basically its just aunt's house, temple and distant relative's house. Couldn't go out aft that in the end cos sch was starting the next day. Major turn off.

Alright, so I guess im getting quite used to sec 3 life after awhile, tons of homework every week and changing of classes, big friendly bonded class ♥. Really hope to improve and play more frisbee. Its fun! And I really admire those ppl who can catch it no matter where it flies. Its like they have it in their control.

Went for dinner at Ah Yat's seafood restaurant. Food there was awesome, especially shark's fin. Okay whatever derrick called me an Uneco-friendly fuck and the next thing, he was also yearning for shark's fin. I agree that its really a pity to kill sharks for shark's fin since they're gonna get extinct, but I rarely eat shark's fin and I feel its such an honour to eat it. Oh, even though how much I love shark's fin, I support Shangri-la in not selling shark's fin worldwide. Save the sharks (:

Bed's calling me now, good night!

Kota Tinggi!

2012-01-15T01:07:00.001+08:00

Hi! Back from camp just today (: So glad to be back in sg but I really miss Kota Tinggi. Since I dont really have pics, I googled it and found a few to blog with.

DAY 1
So I went to this place,

We didn't stay in the resort. We stayed opp the resort, across the scary suspension bridge. Everytime we walk the suspension bridge, mingshu will start jumping making the whole bridge shake and unstable. And me with height phobia I was obviously scared, so were the other girls! We reached there and it was raining. The weather there is super unstable. It can just drizzle and stop, and repeat over and over again. We were assigned to our tents

We didnt sleep on the ground. Inside there was a big rectangle cement platform for us to sleep on! Aft that, we assembled and it rained heavily so our activities were delayed.

We did indiana jones it was so hard. Tried 3 times but didnt manage to get through -.- Its so unstable that I kept falling in the water. And when the whole row of us on the platforms went unstable, the whole wood platform went vertical! And we were clinging on like crazy monkeys.

Then we did jetty jump. We had to say our aim/wish then jump in and swim to the class and hold hands, say cheers then swim back together without letting go. We accomplished it quickly, so lucky cos the water was so cold. Went to bathe aft that and had dinner. After dinner was just reflections and then back to tents. Sleep was so hard that day, not used to the environment. Woke up at 2.30, then 3+, then 4+ then 5 and slept till 6 -_- Woke up to every small sound.

DAY 2

We did CIP at Sekolah kebangan bukit lintang. Its a pri sch, and has a kindergarden inside too. When we went in, they welcomed us with a dance. Haha so cute! Then we walked to shake hands with all the kids and teachers, then went into the hall for the welcome speeches. And the hall was supported by pillars below, and there were holes between the sides of the wall and floor. And when the teachers were talking we could see all the cute children looking in! Some waved back when I looked back and some just ran away... Omg so cute ah *-* Our class stayed in there, and the children that were assigned to our class came in. I managed to get to cute girls with me, Farah and another girl which I forgotten her name LOL. Farah was year 5 and she was year 4.

Tracey and her buddy too ^^ Then we played a few hand games, then monkey ball and catching at the field. There were cow dunk on the field LOL. Really enjoyed time with them, aft that they went back for class. We painted the poles for them, to yellow! Got my hand and skirt stained with paint. Every got stained too and we used so much tinner and soap. Haha but totally enjoyed it. Went back sch aft that, did low elements like whale watch, high wall and tp shuffle. Bathed and dinner aft that. Reflection at the resort. Sleep was easier (:

DAY 3

Its our turn to climb Gunung Panti this time. 512m, no joke seriously! Hahaha! We were the second group! The first group got really muddy. And expected, we did. The route at first was quite managable, till it came to slopes and boulders. Omg they were such hard work and slippery. The mud was squishy. We were so cautious of our surroundings. Till we reached the top I was like "omg seriously we're at the top alr? :DDD" hahaha I was super tired then, my legs were hurting. We cooked maggi and ate sugar biscuits there for lunch. Yumz.

Heading down was fucking hard I swear. With jayler most of the time. Practically clinging on to him. Okay sounds wrong but ya. I really thank him for being there to help me and encouraging me. I fell 4 times but still he was there for me at the most dangerous parts. He even walked backwards to support me. Carrying me down all these. My legs were trembling, guess I stressed the nerves too much. So I couldnt walk well. 3 hours up 3 hours down. Legs super sore! And stepped in so much mud my shoes were mostly covered with it. Reached the campsite and bathed aft that. Wooo felt so clean! Dinner and campfire prep.

Learnt the first part or The Boys remix. Performed that before our cheer. Kinda screwed it up though :/ But our class so cute, did the macerena; idk how to spell it but thats how you pronounce it. Campfire was funny! Then went to resort for reflection again.

DAY 4

Day 4 is today when we go home (: Had good sleep till 7.30. Breakfast and area cleaning! Cleaned the boys area. So clean, didnt expect that :O and 3patience was complaining that the girls tents were so dirty! Went for reflection, then to the checkpoint ~ Finally reached sg and daddy fetched me to mac to eat.

Sigh so the first thing I heard when I went up the car was a truckload of bullshit which was really a turnoff. Dad lectured me first thing I see him. Oh what a nice welcome. Ate at mac with nat, adelaide and chloe. Walked around with nat for awhile then went home. Yep and mummy gave a earful too.

Oh and I think I really love 3Truth now (: HOSEHLIAO!! Guessed we really bonded throughout the camp eh? Hope we can become more bonded through the year.

I realised staying at kota tinggi was much better. So peaceful over there. But I also realised going there was to escape from my pathetic life, only with a short span of happiness. Day totally screwed up aft coming back -.- Ended up eating at the foodcourt when we planned to eat at pizza hut, okay I can accept. But got screwed worse when I wanted to buy notebooks for my subjs for notes and my mum nagged and talked so much crap really a fucking turnoff. Makes me feel so wrong coming back to sg. Getting kp-ed from the time you got back till you eat dinner. Mood spoiler. Ugh just gotta face this pathetic life. Idk how but I really dont wanna breakdown again.

Alright, bye!

Page 6 of 366

2012-01-07T01:45:00.000+08:00

First day of school sucked, got so much boring talks and new stupid rules that we gotta follow for the rest of my life in kcp. And we got to know our subj teachers in the following days. And EVERY single one of them, during introduction, talks about O levels. Nope im not exaggerating but its really every one of them!

So these 2 days have been so happening, 5th & 6th jan. 5th jan was performing for the koreans that came to our sch for exchange program. 30 of them! We really didnt have practice since nov, really stiff! Rushed makeup and rehearsal. Glad that we still did well (: Then had to go back for class, then back to dance training aft school ended. Really tired that day.

6th jan, we had sch, then had to makeup and be dressed in costume by 2. Went to give out flyers for dance aft that for the cca orientation! We just promoted it to any girl we pass by :D went back to do warm up class, and some of those sec 1s watched our practice. Im sure it was super boring for them. I mean, its like chi dance warm up. Who wouldn't get bored? So yeah, from so much people, becoming 5 people. Hahaha. Then we went to the concourse to perform sword dance! Didn't use the sword for a long long time! Then we went in, and got ready for round 2. Aft round 2, we performed The Boys! There was many people there, no sec 1s cos I think they went to assemble somewhere. But there were sec 3s, sec 4s, and people from other CCAs ! Was really nervous while performing. So even if I do the moves correctly my eyes weren't looking at the audience. I was looking left and right :X

Dance ended and I went to eat dinner at j8 with shannon, tracey, kelly, zhiyong, hyun woo, nigel and err idk who's the other guy LOL. I wasn't in their class, but they were in tracey's so they're kinda close! Hyun woo's a korean visitor :DD He's so shy! So hard to communicate with him. Went back for sec 1 camp fire aft that. Walking around most of the time! The camps like getting more fun each year, compared to my year!

Vamp diaries is back ^^ Damon salvatore ♥.♥ Okay bye !

Chapter 2012, page 1 of 366

2012-01-02T00:44:00.001+08:00

I know by the time I finished this blog post, it'll alr be dated as 2nd jan. But oh well lol its still 1st jan for me (: So I celebrated countdown ytd with yi ling, rayoon, gabriel, clarence, morris, germaine and their clique which has shirlene, keng yong, yi xiang, and morris's brother. Lol idk the rest of the clique cos i've never talked to them! Only the first few I stated!

Met them at somerset mrt around 10.30, then trained to dhoby ghaut. Lol kinda awkward cos I dont really know all of them well. Then we reached clarke quay, and it was crowded there. Gab damn hyped, bought yiling, rayoon and I those devil hairband with lights. LOL retarded, but then soon everyone bought and wore it :D Walked pass the bridge and closer to the center stage. So many clubs over there. And so many people. All sweaty. Got squeezed and everything. Kept walking towards the stage, and the place got more squeezy. And we were all sweating. Then gab grabbed us all and started jumping, so I ended jumping too! Super fun. Clubbing atmosphere too. And there were people who piggy backed each other! Morris brother piggy back yixiang too. Haha. Clarence and morris piggybacked too! Oh and when it was just seconds away to 2012, everyone was shouting and hitting the inflatable things! And obviously gabriel shouted the loudest among us!

Then we partied a little while more and walked out of the crowd. Met gigi, juanhua, jodan, weihong, ranen, ivan and jeslyn. Gab went to drink with morris's bro and we went to 7-11 to get drinks. It was far from the centre stage :O Couldn't get in cheers cos it was fully packed, till the queue was out of the store. Aft we got drinks, gigi, juanhua and I went home tgt. It was hard time finding raffles place mrt cos those pinoys said it was closed, but only the front entrance was open. I dont think they saw it ._. Met shuming at bishan mrt, and went to his house to find my dad.

I pissed my dad off badly this time, like really bad. Family drama after I went home. Told derrick bout it and he gave me umm.. advice. Look's like he's really wise. LOL. But I was really troubled, and one of the few I could tell my probs to was him. And yeah, he never fails to cheer me up ♥

School's reopening tmr, if I count today as a monday. Not looking forward. My week's from now onwards are kinda packed.

This post is really plain, cos I didnt take any photos. Photos are on fb posted by shirlene! Okay, byee!

Kill them with kindness.

2011-12-28T01:46:00.000+08:00

Okay hi, I realise im always blogging around 12+ or later. But its okay.

So I was wrong about Christmas. Actually I didn't really have the Christmas spirit cos I know nothing much was gonna happen, I better not expect so much. Ah and really, nothing happened. Woke up in the afternoon, watched tv, ate at cousin's house and went back home (: Really wasted it right? Yeah when everyone's partying away. No one asked me out, so yeah ):

I think I became a loner over the holidays, or have I been a loner all along? Lynn's gonna go lake toba on 29th dec, means I cant spend countdown day with her. Jasmine cant go out :/ And ya, dont mention derrick. LOLOLOL. Natasha invited me to her church but I don't think my parents will allow. My dad's somehow prejudiced... umm. So im gonna spend that day celebrating my cousin's birthday then going home? Wtf no way im gonna waste the last day of my fucked up 2011. At least make the last day meaningful. So im gonna beg my parents to go town or smth.

Went to sch for dance today, went earlier to practice The Boys. There was this bunch of red spiders laying eggs on the pillar which was fucking disgusting, made us have goosebumps and all. They all gathered around their eggs in a circle. Then kelly, tracey and tessa start smacking the wall and one spider fell and we screamed like hell. hahahha omg creepy-crawlies. Dance was supposed to start at 2, till dt called and say dance's cancelled for the whole week, and the training was supposed to be for yap members only. Wtf, and after reading linhui's blog, made me feel he really look down on us. He treats us at his disposal. But he doesn't even care anymore. Close to 1 or 2 months haven't see him alr? And he should know how much we wanted to perform voices and sword dance. Voices wasn't even performed once and we didnt perform sword dance since the NUS thing which I didnt go. Fuck it. We trained for sword dance so hard and he just throw it away. He wanted us to be united, we're trying so hard to be. And he doesn't even give a fuck anymore. Forget it... Why do I even rant so much bout it...

Derrick wanted me to post about him so yeah... Such a bastard go malaysia never even miss me. LOL. Come back only talk bout your shopping spree. Trying to make me jealous! And I think he's crazy. Go malaysia also wanna gym. Take a break uh!

Clarence recently became my girlfriend. He said he's adorable. I think he's bhb. Hahahhaha.

I think theres nothing to look forward to sch, only seeing my friends! Bro's gonna be in the same sch #primaryschoolyears And I think theres nothing to look forward to the new year too.. I hope i'll find smth to look forward to? ):

Im tired and theres chem tuition at night tmr. Trying to get my hw done asap. Alright, nights!

☃ C H R I S T M A S ❄

2011-12-25T01:45:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas! (: Heh. Since im not sleeping yet, i'll update.

Went out with Lynn on fri! No pics with her though. We didn't shop much cos we went to watch 'We bought A zoo' really awesome show based on a true story! Bought dance jacket in the end only. So we walked around 313 and H&M. Kept on playing jokes on each other, and talked alot. Wanted to go far east plaza but we had no time! And it was raining heavily. We ran to the road opp takashimaya and there was a kind man who offered to shelter us there! Hahaha and there were a few guys beside us planning bout asking someone to shelter them. Really thankful to that man :D After getting out of the umbrella we were giggling and laughing like mad women. Hahhaha. My whole sandal got soaked in the puddle! Then we walked to Orchard Mrt and took to dhoby ghaut, then went separate ways! Went to Marina Square to find mum and bro. Ate BK after that, then walked around awhile. Dad picked us up and we went to whoampoa to eat (:

So, on Christmas Eve which is supposed to be today since im not sleeping yet ... Celebrated it at my aunt's house! The food was heavenly. Pizza hut, KFC and home cooked food. And there was durian pie and log cake!! I ate soo much today :X Was really full after that. The log cake tasted great.

I dont think I have any Christmas presents this year though ): Well its okay. I dont reallt receive it every year though..

Wished everyone just now at 12am. And Shannon lee was so sweet! She called everyone of us to wish Merry Christmas! Love her ♥

Spending Christmas at my cousin's house tmr! I think that would be the best. Love them ♥ Alright, enjoy your Christmas! Bye (:

The one that got away.

2011-12-20T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hi. I've been procrastinating bout blogging, since ytd. And I wanted to blog today since 5, and its alr 1+ ! :X woops. Anyway I told zoey i'll blog.. So yeap.

Went to work on thurs at cousin's house, it was fun even though I stayed up till 3am. LOL. Then we went to the family chalet on fri tgt (: Unfortunately theres no pics for chalet since no one bothered to take, and I kept my camera in my bag. So I googled and found this pic of the chalet !

Aloha changi chalet. To be honest I dont like the place. Its so ulu! And if you see, its a open entrance. So if you leave your stuff in the living room, theres a chance of it being stolen at night. And it looks old. The beach there is dirty. I don't know if you call it a beach, cos you can only see 1/4 of the sand left. The rest has been covered by grass! Even though the place wasn't great, I think it was really a great bonding time with my cousins!

So I reached there around 4.30, then uncles and aunties were alr starting the fire for the bbq. Then walked with my cousins along the coastwalk. The sea breeze was really strong (Y) and the sand was dirty. Heh. While walking, we saw this

Hahaha it's a sea snake or smth I guess? But I think someone fished it and just threw it there. Its dead! Then we went back for bbq. I didnt eat much, was bbqing the chicken wings most of the time. Then went to play ps3 and learn mahjong. So far, i've only learnt the basics. 2 eyes and 4 sets to win. Then went to bathe. I got creeped out at the toilet :/ the mirror's frame is made out of wood, and its all chipped. The door's kinda chipped below too.. I was staring at the mirror the whole time I was bathing ._. Stayed up to watch 'You're the apple of my eye' But i didn't watch finish... Slept around 3 plus.

Drove to changi village in the morning to get subway for my bro! Then walked back with my cousins. We were really rotting back at the chalet. Tv and ps3 all the way. Till its around 5 plus and the second bbq starts. This time, its with our distant relative. Father's cousins. And yeah, we know their sons. Their sons are around our age too! We didn't really talk much at first. We rarely meet so yeah. Jonas was setting up the fire for the bbq and brandon was fanning the fire. Lol kinda awkward, guests doing the job. Then slacked at the other chalet. I forgot to mention, we had 2 chalets! Beside one another. So we went to the other chalet to play ps3 and also play blackjack. I didn't play though, no money on me.

Hahah I also played with jiaxin (: Carried her around both chalets. She was sooo hyper that day! And the cute part was that I said "wee!" then she said "weee!" too. hahaha omg. Then when we all laughed, she also started laughing like "hahaha!" Cuteness overload! Then jonas told us bout och and all the haunted places. I creeped out. Since it was all true by his experience. They left around 1 plus. Then dinghao, shuming, qinwen and I slacked at that chalet till 2 plus.

Woke up around 8 the next day, chionged to the hawker centre at changi village. All of my relatives left while I was still sleeping! Then had breakfast there. Walked back, packed up and got ready to check out. Went to downtown east after that. Uncles and aunties wanted to see some shoe sale there. But my cousins and I slacked at mc cafe. Walked a little and went to the food court. Then ate lunch at amk then went home ~

I slept when I went home. Was so shag. Damn grumpy when I was in the car cos it was so uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep !

Alright, thats all for the chalet. And im really trying to re-adjust my body clock back. I said to myself that I gotta sleep by 1. LOOK ITS ALR 1.27 WTF. Procrastination caused me this. Its so shitty. Okay im probably gonna be going out the next few days, and busy doing my hol homework or wrapping books. Well idk, see which one I feel like doing first. Alright, nights (:

I call him, papa fluffy buff

2011-12-10T02:54:00.000+08:00

Heh hello! I'll blog since im not asleep yet, and today was kinda great. Well better than the other average boring days. These few days have been crazy, especially tuesday. I couldn't sleep till 7am. Then I finally slept till 11 plus, and went out to the lib to do hol homework with lynn. Im glad she came back from korea alr (: She said she bought loads of stuff, and so far she only gave me facial masks and food !

Hmm so went to marina today, bought slippers, bedsheet, and book. And yes, preordered SNSD's Mr Taxi repackaged album ! Heh from HMV. Its possibly gonna come on 16th dec which is next week ! Then i'll snap a photo of whats inside (:

Many thoughts have been going through recently, and most of it was all about this year, how much i've changed. I guess I really changed alot. Made so many mistakes I really hate now. But I can't turn back time and stop all those mistakes. Just gotta move on. Anyway, I learnt so much this year. I feel much more matured (: Lol damn, I really hope all those mistakes wont repeat again. Im really forgetful and naive.

I seem to forget the feeling of being cared and love. Its been so long since I felt that. And by being forgetful and naive, if some guy cares and love me, i'll probably make a mistake by liking him back and yeah doing all the dumb shit things. So I hope I won't fall into that trap again (:

Scars. I have them, not literally but mentally. Got hurt in the past. Really bad for me, and its the feeling of that person being your whole world and suddenly they're gone. Like you've lost your life! The pain was long-lasting and hard to forget. Up till now, I still have flashbacks when I think of that person. And it hurts a little deep down in my heart. Then i'll get distracted by other things and forget bout it. So thats how im getting by that scar. Part of me wishes it to be gone, but the other part of me thinks that its the only memory of that person that I cant bear to take away. So it has its pros and cons.

I think all these are more of rants than thoughts right ? :X damn I should stop cos its boring. Family chalet's coming up ! Can't wait (: Alright, bye !

Back to december ☺

2011-12-02T17:59:00.001+08:00

Hi. Was planning to blog ytd on 1 dec but I was too lazy since I woke up late and was busy watching 'God of study' its really a nice show although im only at ep 5 ... But theres 2 cute guys, Lee hyun woo and Yoo seung ho :D Using comp has been a bore cos I've watched till the end of vamp diaries, and rumours said that the next episode comes out next year T-T Grrr have to wait. But i'll still love ian somerhalder !

Hur hur hur ♥.♥

Worked from mon to tues, stayed over my cousin's house from sunday aft we got back from jb for dinner. I was down with flu on mon. Was resting at my cousin's house the most of the time, and I was better during tues and managed to work (: Then got my pay, and watched MAMA 2011 !

Watched breaking dawn with shawn on wed aft tuition. The movie was nice :D There was not much action at all, the movie was just about Edward and bella's wedding, honeymoon and bella's pregnancy. I guess part 2 will be much more exciting since bella becomes a vampire and the volturi appears. Apparently the I think the book is much better as the description is detailed and it makes you visualize the scenes.

I dont feel like going out so much these days, just slack at home. And the weather, its always raining. It'll be a problem if I go out. Im trying to get new pics. My pics are all really old and I need a new dp ):

Okay, theres nothing much to post anymore. Trouble maker !! ♥

Living life aimlessly

2011-11-26T02:42:00.001+08:00

Hi its 2:20am and im blogging. Must be out of my mind. Blogging thru my phone and the blogger-droid app sucks .__. The reason why im blogging is because so many things have been going through my mind so fast that I cant even remember. Haha maybe its part of my short-term memory but i've been wanting to get those things out. Lets see how much I can remember for now.

Im practically being lifeless at home everyday. Wakeup late, watch vamp diaries, eat, sleep. Basic things I do everyday recently. Vamp diaries is super addictive but i've finished watching till the maximum season 3 ep 9, and no new eps coming out yet )): goshhh ian somerhader's so hot ! And paul wesley. Nina dobrev's gorgeous.

So I did the same lifeless routine today, then headed out to marina square cos bro has violin lessons there. I wasnt even in the mood of going out. When I dont feel like going out, its best not to force me cos I will show no interest and a little attitude :x lol i'll find it a waste of my time. So I was quite pissed at marina today :/

Something exciting needs to happen to my life quickly or else it'll die of boredom.

Oh yeah. Bro scored 197 for PSLE and he's planning on coming kcpss. Which means my freedkm gone I guess? Hopefully not. Haha he's not really happy cos he didnt beat my PSLE score, which was 198. 1 point away ~ (;

Looking through my plans for dec, it seems like dec will be busy. Outings, work, tuition, overseas holiday, extra dance classes, packing room. How I wish the holidays were longer.

Alright im kinda tired alr. Nights! I'll blog soon (;

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Vervain

2011-11-22T19:36:00.000+08:00

I feel like i've been neglecting this blog and TUMBLR. All because i've been watching Vampire Diaries. Its addictive!! So im sorry if I haven't been updating lately on blog and tumblr.

Hmm so what happen mainly these days its just me pissing off with my mum. Yep I should really tolerate and understand her. Im trying to okay? She seriously went overboard. All the irony, unreasonable craps and being bias, not understanding and nonsensical. I guess I was pmsing mostly? But she made it worse. And it made me feel worse. I felt so heartless cos sadistic thoughts kept on running through my mind cos of that. Urghhh. And yeah, I felt like crying for no reason. Kinda crazy right? Derrick tried to chill me, thanks ♥ But soon he had to sleep and im always alone at night.

I made a wish on 20/11/2011. Derrick knows about this (; I wonder if it really came true. It was just random to suddenly wish for that but I really wanted it to happen. And the next day it happened. So I guessed it came true right? :D

I want havanias and I need it. Lol im gonna slip and fall or die if thats possible. My cotton on slippers ain't good. The soles wore of since months ago and I haven't been getting a new slipper. But my mum said its too ex to buy -_- So im just gonna work and save to get the money. I don't work just cos of the havanias, I gotta pay for the dance jacket too. And if im lucky enough to get my parents to pay for the dance jacket then I can use or save the rest of the money (: Im gonna work at my cousin's blogshop. Wonder how much they'll pay me :/

I felt that I wasted money today. I went to check out the manicure price and ended up doing it. I saw it was $12 but the woman charged me $20 idk why, but luckily lynn's mum has the package so she paid for me first. I owe her!

The pic isnt really clear :/ hmm but its light blue with glitter. Not really special but its my first time doing a manicure. LOL. My nails aren't really long enough. Next time i'll do a better one if my nails are longer :D

Oh yeah, dance in-charge teachers told us that there was no more dance in dec but suddenly they say have training again, ughhh :/ And the date's undecided so how am I supposed to work... Oh well.

I'll update if there are more things happening in my life! Life's been boring these days cos i've been lifelessly sitting infront of the comp watching vamp diaries. Breaking dawn's coming out on 24th nov and im watching it on 28th with shann lee, shawn and kelvin I guess? Can't wait ^^ ♥

Alright, bye (:

Lazy bones

2011-11-15T23:42:00.000+08:00

Like my new skin ? (: Look at those photos above. Enjoyed so much on that day, 12/11/11 . Had performance at ODT, and after the performance, we took so many photos. Two of them was with the international artistes, the swag kpop instructor and mr yu :DD And we camwhored alot, here are the pics :

Super blur group photo

And yes I know I dont look really nice in the photos, but who cares. They're precious memories all on that day (:

Went out with shannon lee ytd to cine and ion (: I bought stuff from daiso : mirror, hairpins and dad's handphone screen protector. A spaghetti stripe top and a black tote bag from cotton on. Super cheap earrings at 90cents per pair! Then ate a waffle with ice cream inside. Super yummy. Spent over $30 that day. But I still gotta save up to get things I want in the future!

My LG died. The screen has black and white things popping out, if you know what I mean. And it just hangs there. The front cam also spoilt :/ So im using my mum's xperia x10 till I get my iphone next jan I guess. But this android phone is much better (: Now I can whatsapp and viber.

I did something damn stupid today, and that was cutting my fringe. Now I look like how I previously looked when that china hairdresser cut my fringe. Grow fringe growwwwww. I hate to see you so suckish ): It looks like bangs now. But not in the picture im gonna show later. Sigh I really regretted cutting. I cut it from my nose till the top of my eyes. Brian went to photoshop my photo, the one that I cut my fringe. Hahahah here it is :

Before

After

LOL he made my complexion fairer. And anyway that is how I look with my failed fringe. Alot of ppl said that its weird. Okay can, cos I find it weird too ._.

I guess i'll be trying to tidy my room tmr? Cos its really messed up. Then I've to go for chem tuition at 7-9. Sigh sec 3 stuff @.@ I havent even bought my books yet cos my room is so messy.

Gonna have dance on thurs, fri, sat and mon. Alright, bye (;

11/11/11

2011-11-12T01:27:00.001+08:00

Whole dance camp ended alr, the best dance camp ever (: It wasn't so intensive as the ones we had last time. But overall its awesome cos of all the instructors and the things we learnt. Shall blog bout the whole camp (:

Day 1
Went to ODT and there were dancers from AES and BBSS. Carried mats downstairs. Then we started our warm ups in the training shed cos it was raining (: Kinda cramp. Then we had to massage people that we dont know, and hug them or hold hands ._. Lol very awkward. Most of the time we were just sticking around people from our sch, but soon we started to be sociable (:

International artistes were Yu Hosik, Jinjin, Emily. Haha im not really sure bout the jinjin one but thats how dt pronounced it so yeah. They're all from south korea :D Lol everyone was paying attention. Did improvisation with mr yu, workouts with jinjin and emily. Jinjin and emily are a couple. Improvisation is hard and I dont really like it D: Just suck at it. But contempt dance consists mostly of improvisation. Then we had lunch at amoy street food court, then rehearsals.

Damn I really like BBSS's dance. Got kpop movements and they can take of their hair and whip whip whip. The music sounds like those rock kind. And with some peaceful music that keeps saying "forgive meee, forgive meee" in an emotional way. Damn nice (Y) Especially the sec 3 guy. He's so fucking flex and good. Then AES was fan dance, nice eh. We practiced voices and korean dance. Then the finale didn't include us, it was consisting of AES and BBSS. They were dancing to Rolling in the deep. The choreography was niceeee ~

Before we went home we had to carry the mats back up. Ate dinner with lynn at subway.

Day 2
Did the same things as day 1 in the morning, and our dance group damn cute. We asked everyone to wear the same colour tees. So it was white for day 2. Everyone wore except jesslyn -__- Spoiler. Went to sakae sushi for lunch with lynn, jasmine, shannon, linhui, amelia, qianru and germaine. Ended up the bill was $114.90, the price for good food :D But we paid dutch so I paid around $8+ or $9..

had a super good meal there, then went back for rehearsals. Ate dinner with jasmine at amoy street food court.

Day 3
Short day, till 2 only. But it was fucking hot in the morning, the sun was terrible. Got suntanned, my tan lines are obvious. Had improvisation and workout classes as usual, then took train to tpy to lunch with derrick. And kenny happened to be there too lol -__- took cab with derrick and kenny home. Dropped derrick off first, then kenny decided that he wanted to go off first so he gave me $10 and told me to keep the change. LOL nice one.

Day 4
Last day of idp. Best day ever in all the idps (: Reported to sch at 8, then the bus came late. So we reached UCC hall late. Went in the dance studio and everyone gave us the O.o stare, you know what im talking bout right? Then watched a 77 year old Australian lady conduct a master class. But dt only picked those good people in the camp, so that leaves majority of us sitting on the floor watching them conduct the class -__-

Then had improvisation class by Mr Han chang ho, a director of a dance company. And it was harder. Trees moving and water flowing. I dont really know how to express it and I was really shy to do it infront of sooo many people. So didnt do much :/

Finally it was kpop class, by Mr Lee jun yeong. I can totally spazz bout him ♥.♥ He's sooo cool ! Lol damn cute somemore. With a tattoo on his arm and blonde hair. Dressed up so swag. Then he taught us the basics like moving hips and the body. Then we learnt The Boys - Girls generation. Only learnt till the end of the first chorus. Didnt really do so good cos the movements were confusing. Then whenever he tried to explain or show that we're wrong he would make those "mm mm" sounds. And he's kinda humourous (: He made those girly noises while dancing The Boys. After class, everyone rushed to get photos and autographs. Here's mine (;

Thankyou jacqueline ♥ She helped me to take the photo. At first I didnt even get to take a photo with him !

Watched the rehearsal for 'Leap of faith' Schools such as AES, BBSS, Juying, Yuanching were involved. We weren't involved cos none of the teachers were free to be in-charge of us on those dates -.- We wanted to perform voices but dt said he didnt have the music. Woah cheat our feeling, before that say "After this" which meant after the previous sch's dance.

Ate dinner, then went for the international artistes' interview. 11/11/11 happens to be Tracey, Tessa and Wesley's birthday. We planned a surprise for them (; But wesley knew so it was only the twins. They didnt know. And aft we set up the cake, we sang the birthday song when qianru brought them to the courtyard. Haha tracey was so touched till she cried :') Then shannon went to randomly kiss her. Ate cake, and everyone was playing around with the cream. Cleared up, then went to watch 'Silent Connexion'.

Silent connexion was performed my ms low, mr yu, jinjin and emily. The funny parts were emily and jinjin, I dont really get what they're doing but I guess its just silent communication and connecting movements. Went back by sch bus transport.

Gonna have a performance at ODT tmr, gotta report by 1pm. And I should be having lunch with lynn... Alright, im super tired, heavy eyelids. Goodnight (;

I hate the way you are, even though i've tried my best to accept you.

2011-11-05T00:15:00.002+08:00

Okay hello (: 11 plus now and im kinda tired cos I just did facial and went to marina just now. Gonna summarize bout these few days.

So we had dance for the whole week from 8-12, and I was late everyday LOLOLOL :X Umm woke up late and had to rush but was still late for class. Then had to jog 10 rounds, do sit ups and push ups. Then stretching. That was the usual morning workout that we did for the whole 5 days at the concourse. Didnt like it ! >:( Imagine doing all those when you're tired >.> You won't feel fresh or whatsoever.

Then we moved on back to the MPR for the chinese dance warm ups. Kinda sick of it. Cant we do some contemp ones instead ? Then we had short breaks and the choreography of the ribbon dance went on. Total up the whole week we learnt 4 sets alr (: Gonna have dance camp from next week. Only 3 days of rest, super precious.

First day of dance camp is from 9-7, second day is from 9-5, third day is from 9-2 and the fourth day is from 9-10 @ UCC Hall. The other normal ones are at ODT. We're only having 4 days cos monday is a public holiday so they only made it encouraged for YAP members. So we're only starting on tues.

Watched 23:59 on 3/11/11. Okay fucking scary. Watched with derrick, pei wei, chanel and wee boon. Err me and derrick were sitting beside each other so ya, can see each other freaking out. We were freaking out most of the time and hiding our faces. Then saying 'What the fuckkkk' Lololol ! Then otp-ed with him at night, and yes we were still scared ): Cant help it. Images kept replaying in our head. And what made it worse was that syazwan told us it was true, and umm some other things, really dont wanna say it here. Then had and uneasy sleep. Shuming called me till I was tired so that was how I slept x.x Thanks couz ♥ Slept around 2am so I woke up late as usual !

Lunched with brian at subway today. He gave me 3 necklaces (Y) Omg thanks so much ! ♥ Haha so I have 5 necklaces and 1 nail polish for my birthday presents.

Dinner at marina square today cos mummy and I brought my bro to his first violin class. Ate at The Nodee Box. Their concept damn cute hehe (:

See, the noodles are inside with all the ingredients. So portable ! :D

Appeal results coming out on 11/11/11 ! Alright, heavy eyelids. Byee (:

F O U R T E E N

2011-10-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hello (: Celebrated my birthday ytd. And yes im one year older. Lol I think derrick's birthday wish was the best ! " Happy birthday <3 You're one year older now and that decreases the chance of you getting a husband" LOLOL (Y) Kinda mean but yeah, really an awesome brother . Eh derrick if you're really gonna transfer i'll miss you damn alot okay. Idk why but even though we weren't in the same class before and if you're gonna appeal for physics and get in i'll be sad ):

And speaking bout classes, I got into my desired combine chem and bio. Then geog and ss, D&T . Lol im gonna appeal for poa . Dont think i'll get in cos I failed maths though. But i'll just try (:

Alright should get started on my birthday. Celebrated it with lynn and jasmine. Went for dance in the morning, then went to j8 for hagen dazz. Treated them !

Then went to kallang, lol had a hard time getting there -__- Didn't know the exact place of kallang leisure park and it was raining. And worse is that we weren't all in a good mood, kinda shag :/ So yeah in the end jasmine's father fetched us to kallang leisure park from mountbatten.

Went for ice-skating lol and I totally fail at it ~.~ Seriously. Fell 2 times and I kept on holding to the sides till my shoulder is aching now >< So managed to skate abit. Was holding the side like 99 % of the time. The 1% was when lynn held my hand to skate across (:

Then went with lynn to aunt's house at bukit timah, had dinner and birthday cake there (: Collected angpaos hehehe. Then took photos and polaroids like the one on top ^ I realized it looks like funeral photo if you take away the cake .__. My cousin took away the other polaroids to scan. Hopefully I can have them back ^^ Home aft that. Looool I only got 3 presents. Pathetic much? But there are a few people that's gonna give me (:

The necklace on the left is from josephine jie, and the right one is from my aunt. Letter and nail polish from lynn ♥ (:

Gonna have dance from monday to friday, 8-12pm. Crazy much. Body's gonna ache badly x.x Umm I dont really look forward to it though, gotta meet lynn at 7.30am everyday.

Alright, bye !

I wish nothing but the best for you

2011-10-28T15:33:00.000+08:00

Hoho im blogging again, didnt blog since sat. I guess im too lazy to blog nowadays, and there's nothing to blog. Nothing so interesting happened in my life recently and if I blog it'll be boring and short :/ Mmm so yeah gonna summarize what happened these few days.

Sec 4/5s had O lvls' this week so we were supposed to go home earlier, like around 12+ . Did nothing much after school, maybe just walking around j8, having lunch or going home. Had dance ytd, danny tan came. Lol kinda unexpected ! Did korean dance and voices. Supposed to do sword dance but didnt do it in the end. We also couldn't recap the steps. Didn't practice it at all since the practice for ASEAN performance ! Then danny tan talked to us bout money and YAP. He kept on emphasizing on YAP and money -__- couldn't take it. And most of all, he kept on saying non-YAP members have to pay more, no discount. Wts !! Making those not in YAP feel damn lousy la, like me. And when he talked bout money the amount's aint small. Like $80 or more. Is ODT bankrupt or smth. And we're not going overseas cos our group's not too united ? ... Really envious of AES and Bukit batok sec. They're going to Seoul >:( Ugh and yeah, he talked about finding space for YAP members to go overseas zzz .

Its the last day of sch today, sigh i'll miss 2Patience'11 ♥♥♥ Even though we're not that 'on'; not planning class outings or chalets, im okay with the people there. They're awesome and they brought so much fun in the class. Especially those funny ones. And those that I can confide in. Most of them are gonna come to bio :D heheh. Heard from lynn saying that there'll be 2 combine bio classes ... Aww maybe not gonna be in the same class as Derrick ): Lol . Subj combinations are gonna be out at 5pm ! URGH NERVOUS x.x 3 people from my class are dropping to NA. Sighhh. Then some are going physics or pure.

And yes, i'll finally be 14 tmr (: Woop woop ! But gotta go dance early in the morning from 8-12pm. Then i'll go home and bathe, and out I go, with lynn and jasmine (: A pity syazwan and derrick cannot make it. Ahh maybe their dragon boat might end around that time ? And maybe i'll treat them to hagen dazz cos you know we 3 people cant finish a $30 hagen dazz voucher .__. Then aft that we're gonna go ice-skating. LOL I cfm like some embarrassing failure there ! Never tried ice-skating before. I think i'll be receiving very less presents this year ): awww ...

Im planning to rewatch the Twilight saga. Heheh rewatched twilight alr, now to new moon ! Im really bored ! Will update on my subj combination and birthday with photos in the next post. Gotta buy my late lunch cos I didnt eat as I ate too much during recess. Alright bye (:

Papa bear ♡

2011-10-22T01:30:00.000+08:00

Heh hello (: I think I kinda look cui in the pic with syazwan. LOL shitt.

So yeah, went out with syazwan today. Fetched him home with an umbrella cos it was raining. Then we both got home and got ready to go out. Met and went off (: Hehhh. He was being evil and lame. Kept on suan-ing me >:( But at least he admitted he's a bear. LOL fucking epic "Cos I bear then I went hunting for food" and "my fur shave off alr thats why so cold" LOLOLOL Couldn't stop laughing. Hairy bear hehehehe. Then went to cathay, bought tickets for Real Steel. He paid (: Hehehe thanks ♥ Then ate frolick, then went to buy bread. Lol I felt likeahungrybear I really was cos that was my lunch I guess?

Walked around plaza sing, went to times bookstore, spotlight, and build-a-bear. The bears damn cute insde :D Camwhored before movie. It started at 4.45, ended at 6 plus. Real steel quite nice uh ! (: Aft the movie we actually planned to go fort canning but then cancelled cos it was getting dark :/ And we were scared . Hahahah. So went to eat dinner all the way back at j8. Ate at ljs (:

Went home aft that. Alright daddy's angry. Okay bye ~

2011-10-21T00:30:00.000+08:00

Hi (: Multi-tasking now. Talking to derrick otp while blogging . So yeah, got back all my results :

English compo : 18/30

English letter writing : 18/30

English compre : 15/25

Lit : 43/50

Math paper 1 : 17/50

Math paper 2 : 13/60

Science : 49/100

Geog : 40/80

Hist : 43/80

Chi compo : 30/40

Chi letter writing : 17/20

Chi listening compre : 14/20

LOL umm ya so maths was a damn fail, total marks was 28/100 if you convert it to /100 . F9 sua lol. Then aft adding all the gfa and previous papers, my year overall is :

English : B3

Chi : B4

Maths : F9

Sci : C6

Geog : B3

Hist : B4

D&T : A1

Art : C5

Home econs : B4

Lol so my overall is 59.3%, means im promoted to sec 3 express (: HEH YAYYY . Okay at least I didnt drop right ? I was worrying bout dropping the whole time. But theres so many people aiming for combine bio and chem im just afraid i cant get in... And im also scared that if too many ppl take poa i'll end up getting D&T.

We can only take 6 subs for combine, amaths if only eligible. We have to choose between poa, d&t or art for the 6th sub. Usually its either you pick poa or amaths, or pick either d&t, art or f&n. But raja made f&n only available for NA so we cant. Ahh oh well. Guess i'll pick poa. Like more future uh ? Can go take accounting course in poly then be some accountant next time. Hmmm and I would take geog elect with ss cos if I took hist elect with ss its gonna kill me cos theres just too much to memorise; imagine bio, hist and ss. Hardcore. Okay, I think im over-thinking agian.

Had dance for 3 consecutive days, god damn tired and aching all over. Just for the open house for the p6s. I think they will laugh -__- okay whatever. Some of them are immature ya ? And supposed to go out with syazwan on wed but cos of dance then couldn't go. So gonna go tmr, which is somehow later cos its alr 12am (:

Dance today was not really tiring but got fucking picked on most of the time -.- Seriously damn irritating I swear. Shall not say what happened since I cant be bothered anymore and I dont wanna think bout it alr. But aft dancing at the concourse from the first day my knees got bruises and it hurts again ): ... Kept on kneeling down.

Dont really have much to blog bout today, hope I have more to blog tmr (: Practically blogged cos I wanted to update bout my results. Receiving all the results were kind of a nervous and sad process uh, couldn't believe I topped lit in the class though. And I owe lester a meal for helping me to pass geog ♥ Thankyouuu (: Alright, bye (:

Single and carefree ☁

2011-10-17T18:02:00.005+08:00

☁☁☁

Hi, okay exams over alr and life is kinda good now, no troubles. But just got pissed cos of mum again and I started to overthink and get more pissed -'- Shall blog to distract myself from more hurtful thoughts.

Okay so went to uncle's house ytd, like finally ! Aft 1 month or so I guess. I miss my cousins ♥♥♥ Finally got to see them except shuming and qinwen ): shuming has his upcoming A levels while qinwen still has his EOYs. Damn and shuming says he's probably not coming till end of nov. Hmm so anyway. Played with jiaxin. Haha she's god damn cute okay (: When I was walking at the playground I saw her playing the slide. She's damn enthusiastic and she kept on walking up the stairs to go for the slide. And she sits on it and go 'wee' or those kinda adorable baby sounds. Then let her talk to Shawn otp. Hahaha I made her call him korkor and she really did. And when I asked her to say 'Shawn' she said it as 'gong' ! LOLOLOL . Cute ttm.

Then eeling helped me to paint my nails :

Glittery blue for fingers and pink base with black cracks for toes ! Awesome (: Blue is cool and I love those cracks. But gotta remove my blue nails today as there's sch tmr and im gonna keep my cracks (: Oh, there's no sch today as its marking day.

Okay, talking bout marking day. Im damn insecure bout my results I think i'll fail many papers x.x Will update on results ! And there's no sch on fri as its promotion day. Hope I don't drop to NA.

Can't wait for wednesday (: Gonna go watch Real Steel with Syazwan, then to fort canning park. Haha there'll be pics ;D Hope i'll get a nice pic to put as my fb or twitter dp. I need a new one ! Hope I don't freak out at fort canning. Heh.

Been rotting at home the whole day since I woke up at 11 plus. I hope we're gonna go j8 for dinner ... Dance resumes tmr D: Muscles gonna ache. And I hope my cracks doesn't get ruined )): Wanna maintain them.

Alright, bye (:

I blog to express, not impress

2011-10-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

Haiiii . Okay gonna blog quickly then revise thru a little bit of english . I'll usually start to get tired aft 10 ): #noob but yeah . At least I can sleep later on.

Felt accomplished today cos I did 3/4 of my D&T practical work. We're supposed to make a cam (: Did this since common test 1 i think ? Or later than that but its been fucking long before I last touched my cam work, other than today. But mrs tan said if we cant complete by sch end then its too bad ): Really hope to complete ! Grrr I kept on hammering my finger and nail while doing practical today. All cos the space between the wood and nail to hold was too small ): Or its cos my finger too fat ? LOL .

Hmm anyways I really hope I pass eng so I wont retain or drop. If I really did so badly, I think i'll choose to drop instead cos I rather move on to sec 3 NA than repeat sec 2 .

Hmm so went to tuition to self-study aft sch today, then met shawn and ate waffle, drink bbt . Aft studying went home with syazwan (: Hahaha took his phone to play kartrider and tweeted shit <:

Hmm, eng paper till 12 tmr. Then gonna go home bathe and come out study at bishan park mac I guess? Got nth much to blog alr. And maybe I wont be blogging till fri cos gotta study ): Wish me luck for EOYs. All the best to everyone (;

Alright byeee .

Backstabbing bitches.

2011-10-07T00:24:00.001+08:00

Updating again. Gonna be 12 soon but not really tired :/ Something, someone, fucking embarrassed me badly few days ago. Like seriously -'- -'- -'- ))): Yeah and ppl in there were talking bout it till the next day. Ask me if you wanna know bout it .

Mmm nothing much to talk bout today though, but have been going to tuition these few days to self study, and got to know sec 4 ppl (: Haha friendly guys.

You'll feel pain no matter how strong you are when you hear someone gossiping bout you. No matter how important the person is to you. Even though you're positive and tell yourself not to care bout it you'll somehow think bout it again when you get home and lie on your bed when you're bout to sleep. It hurts worst when you have to see them mostly everyday. And you never know, it might be your friends. But I guess im choosing to just live with it and put on a smile, then I won't even give a fuck bout those people from next year onwards. Part of training my tolerance I guess ? It ain't the first time and it keeps on spreading. But it doesn't even benefit anyone. It just makes your reputation worse cos by judging me it defines who you are.

Really got pissed today and I really wanted to scold, but while I was sending a text to sgBEAT Adrian told me that "The key to peace is harmony" Lol idk what was he thinking but then I guess maybe it was kind of true (: So I didn't sent out that text.

Maybe I shouldn't work so hard for EOYs cos I probably will just get into a combine sci class :/ LOL what am I thinking. Screwed mind.

Oh yes, Happy birthday Shannon (;

And lastly,

RIP Steve Jobs

Alright, nothing much to blog bout alr. Byee (:

O C T O B E R

2011-10-02T01:57:00.000+08:00

Finally blogging aft a week (; and its quite late alr so im just gonna sleep aft blogging. My blog's been dead, gotta maintain. Why I didn't blog ? Cos I was studying the whole week like a boss ! #accomplishment Happy for myself cos I managed to put in the effort. I was a little slacky when revising, but at least I revised ! Not like my usual, not even studying. Been revising aft sch everyday execpt for thurs, at tuition. Mr ong let me study there and teach me if idk any question (: And yeah, recently made new maris stella and RI friends, they're friendly and helpful (: I find them so fucking smart. Lol seriously.

Had chi paper on fri, fucking screwed it and im fucking disappointed in myself. The paper was hard and I didnt manage to finish it. During the last 5 mins my hand was trembling cos even if I wanna do those questions I cant. I dont even know how to do them. Sigh... Fucking cried when the paper ended . Cb sia idk what's gonna happen to me when they stream my class. Okay, I should maintain my vulgar lol .

Quarreled a day before chi paper with my family. Yeah and I was really pissed so I said "lanjiao" then my father went to lecture me. He talk like I can go girls home and its the end of the world. Oh cmon, if I go girls home just cos of this, other ppl alr changi prison . Ah but I should really maintain my vulgar and use proficient english to mock ppl when im pissed.

Celebrated Justin's birthday today, and Josephine jie jie bought him angry bird cupcakes. Its cool :

Heh, but we didn't eat them ): But his birthday cake was yummy as well ! Ate 2 pieces #fattening :X

Exams gonna continue next next week. Why did chi even come first. Screw the planning. So exams are gonna end on 14 oct and I got so many dates coming up with all my friends (((: Heh gonna be a fruitful 2 month holiday I guess? Dance + outing with friends + family chalet = Fruitful holiday YAY . I hope we're going overseas ): But daddy didnt say anything bout it ... Aiyahhh .

Having tuition tmr and probably staying there or going home to study aftwards x.x Its worth it, its worth it. I MUST SCORE WELL FOR EOYS . Eyelids getting heavy its alr 1:57am now. I'll blog soon I promise (:

Alright bye ♥

To procrastinate no more.

2011-09-22T23:53:00.001+08:00

Hello (: using my mum's android phone to blog now, blogger app. Sadly I think it cant save my tumblr pics so its not here ):

So many things happened these days, made me feel so @&%?!# but i'll not say. Just feel so disappointed with the people :/ but society is cruel so we just gotta accept it and move on. Theres a tumblr gif that really described how I felt, shall show it in my next blog post (:

Im cutting down on my internet usage. Heh. One day use comp, one day dont. Alternate. But i'll use my mum's phone if I dont use comp though; like today :/ but I feel so accomplished cos I finished my homework alr :D suppose to start sci revision but im blogging. Guess i'll study aft I blog. And if I still aint tired, i'll continue reading a book a recently bought, Daddy's Little secret.

Kind of a sad story. The girl was being raped since she was 9 I think ? Till she was 26 she lead the same life ): cos of the same man. Theres gonna be chi tmr, I wonder if we're gonna receive our eoy listening compre paper back... Hope I dont fail yeah.

Alright gotta start on sci or i'll get tired. Okay byeee (:

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

You only start to realize how much someone mean to you when they're gone.

2011-09-19T22:36:00.001+08:00

Okay hi. Gonna type quickly cos gotta otp with ram and do work. My fringe is irritating me asdfghjkl ): Ugh prolly pin it up later if I cant take it. Kay anyways, this blog post is dedicated to 2 guys. Yeah, 2 important guys that I care for loads but I think I don't really mean much to them ._. Lol but they're both my bros . Gonna be emotional heh.

Derrick
Hello tranny, be honoured and touched that im posting this willingly . Yeah if you're application to beatty is really accepted I think i'll cry ): Seriously. I know you have your best friends there but you can't forget me alright. Lol yeah we can always meet up but idk why I still cried ytd . Probably its cos i'll be distanced from you. Just know that i'll fucking miss you and i love you okay ? ♥ Yeah even though we're exs but I still want you as my bro. Try to disown me as a sis or cunt i'll come kill you. And if you really go beatty, come back to bishan more so that we can slack aft sch (: And yeah, I want hugs too okay . ♥♥♥

Syazwan
Hi papa bear, you're moving away from bishan and i'll miss you. Cried cos you and derrick are both going ._. silly or stupid uh. And yeah even though I don't meet you so often I hope we'll really hangout one day ... Don't know if you want too but .. :/ Umm yeah. Even though I don't really tell you my probs but I still treat you like my bro. I'll feel distanced from you when you move away cos I cant even coincidentally see you anymore. Even though after all your 1 words replies whatever shit you still cute okay ? Please still text me randomly ): I don't want us to be strangers one day. Okay you might -.- me aft reading this but this is all I wanna say to you. ♥♥♥ (:

I might seem silly writing all these shit but these two badasses are one of those close guy friends I have. Gonna have chi EOY listening compre tmr. Have been scoring bad for practices cos I dont understand what they're talking bout :/ Wish me luck . Okay studying now byee.

Grew up and realized that happiness is a lie.

2011-09-18T18:47:00.000+08:00

Blogging again (: I don't blog as often as the other days, cos nothing much special happened in life and im just too lazy. Yeah, too lazy to even study so im just using fb, twitter and tumblr like a lifeless person.

I really need some motivation ): And I dont have the mood to study. I always make my mind up, planning that i'll study later when I get home but in the end I just switch on the comp and start being lifeless again ._. Hmm. And I rather study with some people that I can concentrate with.. Not those I will end up playing and chatting bout life with. Distractions are irritating I swear. Theres so many chapters on sci and im lagging in maths. Tell me how ? Someone help me ):

Ytd was the last dance lesson, till oct aft eoys. Danced under the sun again, laughed loads mainly cos of shannon and linhui. Hahaha we were all making english song lyrics into chinese, like champagne showers = xiang bing chong liang. Then sang a few english songs with our own made chinese lyrics. Damn joke ! :D Then while we were lying on the ground flat, and cos the black mat was starting to get hot cos of the sun, linhui made the joke of sizzling. You know, like a meat sizzling on a pan. Then she keep making the "ssssssssssss" sound. End up laughing while pushing myself up :X I got leotard tan lines alr ! Dancing under the sun. Wonder why it always doesn't rain while we are dancing but rains when we're going home :/ ironic .

Gonna have sch tmr again, sianzational. Not looking forward :/ Prolly gonna otp with ram later at night, but not till so late. Then MUST try to wake up and meet saba they all ? If they slack :/ Or someone else.

Going to crystal jade @ j8 soon ! Daddy and mummy's 15th wedding anniversary today :D And maybe we're gonna eat hagen dazz ice cream aft dinner. So much yummy food uh ? (:

Lastly,

That smile, just ugh.

2011-09-14T22:26:00.001+08:00

Hi there.

13/9/11
Did bio experiment, totally gross. Had to spit saliva into the small cup then transfer it into test tubes to test for glucose and another thing i've forgotten .. :P haha I was supposed to spit the saliva but in the end it was linhui cos she dont wanna switch places so she was A, im B. B did most off the burning and adding solutions stuff while A mainly spit the saliva. Lester helped linhui spit, so our saliva was Linhui + Lester 's . GROSS. The cool part is only the substance changing colours when burning (:

Classes as usual and went to slack after dismissal with Kah ling, derrick, sabrina, piyabut, fuyi, duncan, ranen, wei yu, jeremy, naqib, axel . Ate tgt at third storey, then we dispatched, left the first few of us on the list (: Went home around 4+, and got scolded by mum again hohoho .

14/9/11
Finally finished gastro proj today ! Hehe all the models done. We just have to stick them on the board tmr, and our portfolio .. Well ._. They say the photos in linhui's phone cant be read so they got to take another set of photos using my cam .. omg I really dont want the photo developers to see my photos ! D: Its so embarrassing . Anyway, will upload the photos tmr since I dont have any now .. And crap, I gotta bring all the models and the board tmr :/ Heavy load hohoho. Hopefully I wake up early enough to catch daddy's car .

I have undone chi work. I REMEMBERED I DID PASS MY JUNE HOL HOMEWORK TO HER >:( Yet she claims she only has the racial harmony day presentation with her .. Hais.. So I gotta do my work by this fri. I'll do it for my gfa .__.

Oh yes. Got caught by alsagoff today fuck itttt . Was walking out of class but saw her, then ran back in but she told everyone to go out cos it was recess. And she caught me for my skirt, socks and nails. Wtf. And lol, she thought I was wearing contacts. Gonna get called out after assembly tmr I guess ? -.- Ughhh .

Having dance tmr, voices is really tiring okay. Gonna have so many events on the second week of nov . Like a fully packed schedule ? Im not sure but I know its close to that. But its aft eoys so WHO CARES (: Heh .

I hope this blog post is long enough to what I expect it to be :D Alright, I feel shag. Prolly gonna check on my chi hol hw now. Buhbye (:

Really, really fucking hate the state im in now .

2011-09-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Oh hello, i'll blog quickly before I sleep . Didnt blog for days, practically cos I was in a screwed mood . Things aren't going well for me at all. But I guess ytd was better cos there was derrick . Hahah thanks bro (: ♥ I think without you I won't be relaxed . I'll be an angstygirl97 like how I was the past few days . Angsty cos of things happening around me, and I couldn't control my emotions .

There are things really personal.. Those that you can't even tell your best friends. These days i've been bottling up everything cos no one close was really here for me . Its like my mood suddenly drops. Like today, just now. I dont have any reason to be happy or theres just nothing that makes me smile . Maybe that's why im so down nowadays.

And im really procrastinating nowadays sighhh . Till now i've only done 3/4 of maths and a few pages of chi . Still left with geog, eng, sci . Having chem tuition tmr -stress-

K bout today. Stayed up till 3.30am just to cheer jasmine up (: Hi babe I hope you're much better now ♥ Then I woke up late. Fuckkk. Woke up at 7, lucky got lynn's father to fetch us there. I felt damn bad to both lynn and her father .___. Sighhh. Then danced on the black mat under the sun for the whole 3h . No air con for the 3 fucking hours. I sweat until I look like I just came out of the sauna -.- Then the mat started to heat up and we ended up dancing on it till 11.30 . Got tan lines again ! Hoho luckily its light . Then trained back to bishan and had lunch with lynn and amelia. Went to lynn's house aft that then home .

Alright, really in need of sleep now . BYEE (:

Thanks for the butterflies .

2011-09-05T23:57:00.002+08:00

Hello (: Went to wedding at Shangri-la hotel 2 days ago , super grand ! Best wedding i've ever went. Funny thing is that I don't even know the bride nor groom. Cos their my mum's friend son. Their damn rich, its like 100 tables. They hired an instant photo booth outside. But I look so shitty in every photo. Especially the biggest photo ): Hais . The food was halal (: But nice though. The bird nest tasted like shark fin but I didnt know till I looked at the menu :O Then the presentation vids were nice . Kinda modern, with the music. Just they way you are, the story of us and love story. They started dating when the guy was 19 and when the girl was 15 . Wah sec 3 only eh. Last till now . But their quite young though !

There were entertainers from mediacorp ! Chen jian bing, hui ge, ying ying and wang lei . Haha they were funny. The family's so fucking rich to hire them ! Then the emcee of the wedding was justin mission. He's kinda horny but fun. He made loads of jokes and speak in all sorts of languages (:

Shangri-la's toilet like nice only ! Inside got half a room of makeup tables with chairs . Then inside were the cubicles. Hehehe. Reached home around 12+ , super shag. Used comp for awhile then changed and removed makeup. Then slept (:

Did Gastro proj ytd, we're so slack ): Wed's our last session together. I doubt we can finish by then... But we'll do as much as we can ! I've got nothing on today. Rotting at home. But I wanna watch Smurfs ):

Some retarded + waste time + waste tape things we did during gastro proj :

You told me to give up on you... So yeah i'll try :/

Okay bye (:

I'm trying hard not to fall for you.

2011-09-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

Happy teacher's day (: Yesterday, we had aces day and teacher's day tgt. Like super weird. For lower sec we had a walk in the morning, from sch then one whole round past mrt, j8, ite then back to sch. Was walking with linhui and we were both whining the whole way ! Haha. Luckily we were the first class uh. It was a mass walk, the line was freaking long. Upper sec had shuffling lesson while we were walking. Then we had swap. Shuffling lesson was not shuffling at all ! Lol it was just dancing to the party rock anthem, then during the shuffling part we just stomp our feet. Nigel went in our sch, chatted with him awhile. His grades are (Y) . Lol while mine is ... Went to lunch with lynn at jas at mac aft sch, cheese shaker fries (Y) ! Didnt go back pri sch. I think not many ppl went back anymore. At most is 6A '09 and 6E '09 only !

Yes I really am fucking lonely. Really. I keep things to myself. Some I dont even say to anyone. Cos its some deep heartfelt words that cant be described. No one will understand.. No one will care much uh . So I just have to get used to the loneliness (:

And also, being single. Yeah kinda used to it alr since it has been ... 5 months ? around there . Used to ppl not really caring much and loving me alr uh. So its always like this, I realise. Once im single for months, i'll get used to it and forget the meaning of love. So I tend to be a little naive again. Which is not good uh. But remembering too much of love wont be good too. Its like you're more insecure, and you have more demands of your partner. So yeah.

I ain't important to you I guess? I don't even know whether I am in the first place. Prolly you talked to me just cos you're bored. Sometimes now, I text you and you'll ignore. But whenever you text i'll reply. I can't bear to ignore you eh. You hold an important place in my heart after talking to me for so long. I remembered, we first talked on 21st sept ? Idk but that day seems familiar. Yeah and theres many many things running thru my mind when I think bout you or when your name appears. Theres so much I can say bout you but its either I forgotten or theres just too many ! Whatever, but I think you're attached? Or maybe you like someone else alr :/ .. Im kinda jealous :/ cos of all those ♥ girls gave :X Okay should shhh bout it .

Gonna have dance tmr, meeting lynn at 7 then jasmine at 7.15 ! Earlyy x.x . My throat's killing me slowly. Its getting more dry. And I have to drink more water and that makes me bloated D: I feel like vomitting it all out .

BLOBS4EVA

Went retarded with my bro ytd night, okay bye (:

I grew too comfortable with you. I thought you'd always be there. But I was wrong.

2011-08-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

Hi okay gonna type fast since i've got work to do later. Compo and chi ):

Had sci proj ytd, went to mac first for lunch, then to my house (: All we've left to do is the roller coaster i guess ? Then stick them up all on the board :D Then we tried to camwhore, group photos etc. FUCKING FAIL AHAHHA . Seriously. Our camwhoring like fail. It was either too blur or weird.

Really want a whole group photo soon ): Their coming over tmr too, but vanessa's prolly not coming :/

Went to IMM at 11am today, met my father's friend family (: Hoho long time never meet them, now like super awkward only ! We didnt talk much :/ But ate so much at swensens. Im fucking fat alr okay x.x Dieting from tmr onwards ! Okay was super full aft the meal, felt like exploding. Then walked around IMM, then went to bugis with mummy. Dad and bro chose to go home. Walked around iluma, then bugis street. Super shag aft walking so much. Only bought one pair of denim shorts.

Lol, saw one super epic brand tag on one of the denim shorts, but I better not post the photo here or else jasmine will kill me ! :X

I think giving up on you might be the right choice; cause you dont even bother at all . I kind of distanced from you.. since this year. The start of the year we used to text everyday but now.. its irregular. I'll be contented at least when I get a random text from you, be it an angry one .

Alright sch tmr, dreading it. Buhbye (:

I tried to fight it couldn't hide it I was falling for you.

2011-08-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

Hi, fucked up day today. Woke up around 12 plus. Had a super shiok sleep cos of the rain (: Actually woke up at 9:33 due to my bro's screaming .__. yeah but knocked out after that. Spent the whole day at home using comp like a lifeless person. Lol I didnt study at all ): So went to aunt's house for dinner, then slacked there awhile. Both of my cousins just got an iphone ! Envy much ): Really want mine !

Its alr 12+ am and im watching the presidental elections. Why so slowwww. I know my president will be Mr Tan uh (: But I just wanna know the full name. So im gonna stay up and watch. Tan kin lian conceded defeat. Hoho no more NS for girls !

Alright, was super pissed today cos of my mum. Its not that I dont love my mum or anything, its just that I had enough. If someone shows you attitude everyday would you be able to take it ? No for most of you I guess. Probably your would get pissed like me too. She shows the the fucking cb unreasonable pms attitude . Like one minute happy, next thing angry at me. And sometimes she just vents her anger at me when she gets angry at my bro too. She even drags me in in some quarrels -.- Clearly its fucking irritating uh .

Thats all my rants for today (: Had nothing to do so edited photos, here's some :

Just the same photos just thats its in B&W . Hoho im so deprived of photos ): Alright i'll catch up on the presidential election now ! Buhbye (:

It'll be nice if I was the one you loved.

2011-08-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

Here to update bout today. So had sch as usual, and received report book. Got super shitty grades.

English - C5

Chinese - A2

Maths - F9

Science - D7

Geography - F9

History - D7

D&T - A1

Art - B4

Lol like fail only eh. If you take away dnt and art, and calculate the overall, i failed just by 1 mark. Sheesh. If this happens to my EOY i'll see sec 1s next year or i'll drop to NA. But its only 8% of my EOY overall, so.... I gotta buck up .. (:

Had maths remedial aft sch. Honestly I rather mrs teo teach. Why did haw even want to change the students. He wants to teach us, only our class ppl. I really dont want him teaching me for remedial cos I know its useless. Pon or go like no diff -.- But sua, just go uh.

Had dance, was late cos of maths remedial. Did warm ups, then practiced voices. Then aft practice we tried on the senior's costumes, and apparently 5 of us dont have. That includes me :/ I think they're gonna make new costumes for us.

Sch ends early tmr as they're gonna prepare for the presidental elections. Gonna start on volleyball tmr (: Hope I get the hang of it !

Im gonna have to show the report book to my parents by tonight, since mrs tham says she wants it by hook or crook tmr ! Im just gonna put it on the table, then run straight to my room and sleep :D But im sure they're gonna use my grades to add in when they nag/scold me. Oh well :/ Maybe I deserved this.

Alright bye !

Loving someone you know you cant have.

2011-08-24T22:58:00.000+08:00

Hi ! Haven't been updating lately cos I was lazy and I had nothing much to update bout. Gotta rush blog cos mum's pmsing on me. Fuck ah, whats her prob sia -.- Now im fucking pissed .

Did proj aft sch today at my house. Went to lunch at mac with lh and shann, then went to popular to get materials. Reached my house and started doing the proj. Had much fun and retardedness there, our failure of using the toothpicks to support the upper cupboard ! So used straws in the end. Then around 5+, adrian and van came (: So they contributed too. So far did the wall of the amusement park, and the entrance. Lh went of early cos she had to play piano. The rest left around 6+. They're gonna come over on mon too ! But I doubt we'll complete everything on mon ! Its hard. So prolly gonna have more proj time with them !

Hehe hopefully i'll upload a pic when the whole thing is done ! Gonna do this good for the sake of my gfa. No one wants to fail sci right ? (:

Gonna have dance tmr ! Still learning voices and we're trying on the senior's costumes tmr. Hoho.

Alright bye ! (:

I know what's going on, and how terrible i'm feeling. But i'm choosing to shut up just cos I don't wanna ruin anything.

2011-08-19T00:02:00.000+08:00

K hello, gonna be a quick post cos I wanna head for bed alr. So had sch as usual today, just that I was super tired. I slept around 12+ but woke up earlier cos bro had PSLE oral to take.

So she wants to change the monday sch timing to the usual 7.20am. Fuck school, I just want sleep. List so may excuses, like saying the room temp is hotter, and we tend to get tired and slp. Seems no diff to me eh. So gonna disagree with this >:(

Had chi oral aft sch, ugh so fucking screwed up !!! Mind went blank. And I didnt read that smoothly, I was stuttering a little. Then I got the maid pic for oral. Suey. I wasn't focusing on that pic at all. And I couldn't phrase out my chinese from my notes written in eng ! ughhh ! Super awkward. Before I could describe anymore, the teacher started questioning me alr ! Wtf ah, I saw her write both of my marks 13 ? ): Shittt. And I see the rest all 16 and 17 one ! Looks like I screwed up quite bad ... And this is for EOYs.

Im really scared and worried now that I won't do well for EOYs. Its in 7 weeks ! Im gonna start revising whenever I can. No more slacking !

Went for dance aft oral, dt let us slack so much. Awesome. So went to eat, then warm up a little. Only danced at 5.30 when it ends at 6. And we did 2 rounds of voices only (: He said he go easy on us today cos we had performance ytd.

Went for the dinner that I go every year, hungry ghost festival thing. And usually a getai would be right beside it, and it will be super noisy. I was kinda full, but I still ate and I talked to my cousins most of the time. Then left early, went to NTUC with my cousin and then he sent me home ♥ awww hehehe ! Love my cousin truckloads ! ♥♥♥

Oh its 12 alr, buhbye ! TGIF !

Keeping it to myself would be the best choice, because no one ever understands.

2011-08-17T17:37:00.000+08:00

Hello. Results are worse than usual, failed worse :/ I deproved loads. And still, I haven't told my parents anything. Not even mentioning a word bout results to them. I dont even know how to mention to them... Sua, i'll let nature take its course LOL. Okay here's all my results :

Eng: 15/25

Lit: 14/28

Math: 22/50

Chi essay: 28/40

Chi letter writing: 16/20

Hist: 23/50

Geog: 19/50

Sci: 23/60

Oh my look at all my red marks ! So I failed 4 pass 3. When I used to fail 2 pass 5 . I think I slacked too much during the exam period. I really couldn't help it cos I had no motivation nor mood to study :/ Screwed up badly, but its gonna be only 8% of my EOY's overall. So im gonna work hard for my gfa and my EOY.

Photoshoot in the morning totally forgotten bout it. I thought it was next week ): Asked everyone and most didnt reply, Lucky terencetok lend me. Hahaha (:

Had cultural fortnight performance today, super shitty. Went off from class during recess. Assembled at the aes room and had training around 11+ . Then make up and rehearsal at the auditorium. Aft rehearsing, we went backstage then sec 1s streamed in and it was our turn to perform. Wah really dont like most of them. Laugh laugh laugh, knn this dance is choreographed when we were sec 1. You now sec 1 can do all these anot? Dont know them diam leh -.- Dont appreciate at all !

Lunch with lynn at mac, went to her house to slack and help her create twitter, then home.

Having chi oral tmr, gonna study later on. Its gonna be hard I guess, summarizing the pic :/

Wahh Edwin goh dont like my name ah ? D: Fb nvr accept, twitter also nvr accept ! Yet he accepted ger, jas and lynn's. And even followed ger and jas back :'( So fucking heartbrokennnnn . Oh my, I spazzed too much bout him :/

Alright buhbye ;~;

You know it when you say that you have given up but actually your heart doesn't .

2011-08-14T00:46:00.000+08:00

Haiiiiii ! Really felt like blogging, so yeah here I am (: Take today as 13/8/11 alright .

Went to watch ' Dance Bites ' today at ODT. Second time watching it. The first time I watched was during December 2010 ? (: Haha but they edited the dance moves and its still awesome. There was a really cute guy from AES there . LOLOL . Aft the show, had refreshments - Agar agar and orange juice. Lol I dont eat agar agar so I forced myself to eat abit then throw the rest away :X Trained to bukit timah . Slacked there then came back home around 11+ .

Dreading chem tuition tmr x.x Regretted not paying that much attention to romzee's lessons, especially when we started on chem. Now we're not on chem anymore so I totally forgotten everything bout it and I really don't know how to do the work there in tuition ): The ambience is super quiet. But last week there was a guy that lent me his notes. Haha aww (:

Alright thats all buhbye ! (:

Fluffy teddy bear .

2011-08-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

Tgif, just had sch for 2 days (: Results so far wasnt that good. Chi is the highest so far, essay- 28/40 letter writing- 16/20 Failed maths, 22/60. Lit, 14/28. Eng, 15/25. Fuck it, lit was supposed to be 16/28 k. The marker accepted why she dont accept ! Cb then go cut my mark cos she dont find it acceptable -.- Almost failed. Sigh. Haven't got back sci, hist and geog yet. Heard that alot of ppl failed sci and geog, so I dont really expect myself to pass sci though ...

Lunched with lynn at saybons aft sch, then went home. Met her for dinner then tuition.

I think i'll really study hard now, cut down on computer usage and do homework if I can ... Maybe that'll be better right ? :/ Gonna watch 'dance bites' at ODT, 4pm tmr. Thats all for today then, I have nothing much to blog bout :/

Buhbyee (:

I'm sorry. Sometimes, I get jealous thinking that someone could make you happier than I could.

2011-08-10T17:44:00.000+08:00

Helloooooo. Planned to blog ytd, but reached home around 1am plus and was exhausted max x.x

Singapore's birthday ytd, national day. But this yr's national day doesn't seem like national day. No fun mood nor atmosphere ._. Went to my father's friend house . LOL epic shit was that my bro was so scared of the dogs that he fell back of the chair, the whole chair got squashed then there was a crack. Those plastic red chairs without the back rest .

They had 2 dogs, manage to take a photo of one ^^ His name is Whisky !

Stoning most of the time cos I dont know them well. Only smiled and laughed a little. Was busy texting, eating and watching ndp, million dollar drop and on the fringe ♥ Texting halfway then my phone died. The whole thing just auto switched off then I can switch it on even though they kept on showing the start screen when I pressed the 'on' button . Fagg. Then when I reached home I had to charge it. It had 0 bar of batt. And before it died it had full bar. Wts ! Screw it la I really want a new phone >:( Time better fly quickly to January 2012 !

Reached home, texted awhile then slept. Thank god marsius reminded me of the english essay which I totally forgotten, so im gonna bathe then do it later. I think I have no idea how to do it anyway .__. Planned to watch movies on funshion today but I realized time flew too fast and its alr 5 plus. Hopefully i'll have enough time to watch. Also, I really wanna watch ' the zookeeper ' and the rise of ' the planet of the apes ' ! ):

"如果一切能重新开始，我还是会选择爱你"

I didn't know I could be replaced so easily .

2011-08-05T19:39:00.003+08:00

Hiii . Finally CT2 ended today. Didnt put in so much effort though :/ I think i'll screw up most of the subs ... Probably I can't even top the class for geog and hist this time . Not fully relieved aft exams, cos most likely we're gonna receive results next week and im gonna disappoint my parents. Screwed maths paper most I guess ? Lost 9 marks cos I left it blank. And plus all the errors I have... Im not confident i'll pass. Alright whats done cannot be undone so yeah . Went to mac, then playground aft sch. Ppl from faith class, me and carl. Fun fun fun (: they played water balloon while I sat there and watch. LOL. Sat in the kiddy thing, suprisingly I can fit in. Laugh and screamed loads. But dont know why mood ruined again so sat alone and read through texts.

Twitter can kill me. But im so addicted to it, so I don't intend to quit. So ... I saw that tweet .... That tweet with the date. Some people should know yeah ? I didnt understand why I cried cos of that. Kept on crying. My heart hurt so bad. So I couldn't concentrate in studying maths. I thought I was long over you alr. But when I saw that my eyes instantly blurred . I thought I didn't care anymore. I think im lying to myself. I always fucking care. Dont know why even though we were together for 1 month plus, I still cant forget aft 4 months ? Whatthefuck. Everyone keeps asking me to forget. But look at my progression . 4 fucking months I wasted it on you, and im still counting on.

All the fuckery you said bout those life dramas causing you to not want r/s anymore. Didnt you just get one ? Read this and guailan, I dont fuck care. Lol prolly you won't even be reading this ? You'll just be spending time with her. Just saw this post on tumblr :

" Have you ever just wanted to scream? Because no one is listening to you. Have you ever just wanted to run away? Because no one understands. Have you ever wanted to hurt yourself? Because no one cares. Have you ever wished something bad would happen to you? Because you want sympathy. Have you ever wished someone would ask you 'what's wrong'? Because you need to vent. Have you ever just wanted to lock yourself in your room? Because you need to get away from life. Have you ever just wanted to text that boy that broke your heart? Because you know the old him could make you smile in a heart beat just by replying to your text. Have you ever cried and ran to the mirror to make sure it looked like you didn't? Because your family just wouldn't understand. It's okay. Me too. "

So true. I tried so hard to ignore the pain but it all comes back. Of course you won't understand. You just fuck care this kinda things and handle it so easily and smartly. Easy come, easy go . Funny thing was that when I saw her on mon with you and the rest, I had wild thoughts thinking that you'll be together. And sometimes out of no reason, the thought of you getting someone new would pop into my mind. And it really happened. I wonder how i'll smile these days.

Anyone, if you read through the whole thing, i love you ♥ Cos its full of my rantings . Really hope i'll get better each day ... Then soon come i'll really just treat you as my brother.

Alright I needa rest my eyes. Buhbye .

Did you ever regret standing by my side?

2011-08-02T15:47:00.001+08:00

1st day of august was alr screwed up, and today's the 2nd. Guess today was screwed up too ? First day of the exams. Eng and chi.

Eng was hard, especially the second passage. I think I fucking screwed it ): I even wrote " the figure " as " the figurine " Like shit man . Argh so gonna get penalised and fail -'- Too much of D&T ! Sighhhhhhhh I don't wanna fail thissss.

Idk what the fuck I was doing during chi ah. Wrote quite short, only close to 2 pages. Question 5. The one with the paragraph that we're supposed to start with. I think my plot super crappy . Dont laugh. Here goes the english synopsis :

I woke up in the hospital bed around 2am. A light bristle of wind woke me up. I looked around, there was no one. " Why am I here ? " I asked myself. I started to think back; then I remembered. I planned an outing with my friend. We were supposed to go shopping at Orchard road. I reached early. We were supposed to meet at 5. So I went to look around the stores. It was the great singapore sales and there were many ladies at the shop buying clothes. Then I realised nothing suited me so I went back to the meeting point. Suddenly, I heard a loud sound, then followed my a big fire. I ran into a shop to hide. Men dressed in black brought me away. They brought me to a room filled with many people. They were all tied up. So it was a kidnap. The kidnappers took all our money, bashed up some people, then planning to kill us later on. When they were about to kill us, smoke from the big fire came in the room, then they escaped. I tried to hold on but I couldn't; I fell. Then, I heard sirens of the police, ambulance and firetruck. My eyes closed .

Lol stupid plot right ): Bet you're gonna laugh . Sci and geog tmr, gotta study aft this. Hoho. I got tuition for chem alr ! Alright, bye (:

The reason why people talk behind your back, is because you're ahead of them.

2011-07-30T00:38:00.003+08:00

Its alr 12am but i'll count it as 29/7/11. Lol I seem to be blogging on alt days. Okay so had sch as usual today, then went to have lunch with lynn and jas.

HAPPY 11TH MONTHSARY BABY ♥

Oh yes, baby refers to lynn (: Had lunch at mac today. Lynn and jas were throwing fries at each other. Then accidentally threw it at the girls behind us. Then they kept on staring -.- Then when we're leaving they threw back, aim at me. Wtf ah. Also not I throw one sia. So I walked past them trying to say smth but someone pushed me and I banged her. Then one said " Xiasuey eh, zou kai la. " Wtf eh. Got freaking pissed but I moved on. Went to toilet, then saw them again as we went out. They were pointing at us. Kept on cursing them aftwards. LOLOLOL.

Went back home later, otp with jasmine. Was so tired I almost fell asleep. Then went to bathe, then ate dinner with lynn. Got bbt then went for tution. Im so slack during tuition -__- sigh. I tried hard to concentrate... But I couldn't . Thoughts kept on popping in my head. Idk why but it made me sad and frustrated, even almost making me cry.

Studying these few days isnt really going well for me. I cant concentrate.. Theres too many distractions. Even scored as low as 0/10 for my direct and inverse proportion quiz.

Guess im really an outcast in class eh ? Check in also nvr tag me, then tag everyone else. Its just an assumption, hope it ain't true. So many more examples I have but im so lazy to type out.

Hmm, 4 months really fly so fast eh. I still rmb 290311, now its alr 290711.

You know, if you wanna say smth then say it infront of my face. You don't even understand me, and you don't know me that well. You know why im like this ? Cos of all the pain and influence. Of course you wont understand uh, you also never been through what I went.

Sorry jasmine but im copying this image okay :/ cos it really express how I feel.

What I really need is someone who can understand how I feel. I dont think anyone would understand though .... Alright, off to sleep. Buhbye .

Because some nights you just feel worthless .

2011-07-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

K hello, didnt blog for few days cos either i was too lazy or I was studying (:

Almost reached sch late today cos daddy didnt fetch me. ughh. Then had chi for the first period, did zuo ye corrections. Then had eng period. Did compre corrections and a list of 20 happy and unhappy things.

Aft recess was romzee's period, practical was epic k. Epic + stupid. Went down to the concourse, did star jumps and ran rounds. Just for the sake of counting ur pulse rate/heartbeat. Xiasuey max sia. Then went back class, had PE2. Mr lai showed us the interclass pics and vids. Lol abit epic ah.

Then continued with the list of happy and unhappy things during eng period. Continued with cme lesson cos there was no assembly. Lunched with lynn, jas, brian, piyabut at S11. Then went home.

Ever felt worthless during the night ? That really sucks yeah. You have no idea what you can do in the night to make you feel worth. Feeling outcasted is also another thing. No one gives a fuck bout you when you're trying so hard to blend in. Fuck society, fuck life. Exam's coming, I can't concentrate. Trying my best... So im gonna off comp now. Study at this hour. Alright bye.

Do you ever think of me? And how we used to be?

2011-07-24T17:52:00.000+08:00

Hello (: went gym today. First time. Hahaha lame but yeah. At least I enjoyed myself (: Used machines like the treadmill, the bicycle thingy and others which trains ur triceps, leg and abdominal muscles ^^ I bet my body's gonna ache tmr ): But its worth it. Kinda tired so maybe aft this post i'll knockout. I feel so full now. But im having cravings >:( Ughh. My throat feels weird aft all the workout ..

Gonna go for the tuition trial tmr to see whether I like it. Going to bukit panjang now, I can forget bout my knock out ): Maybe i'll rest there ! (:

Alright byeee.

I'm falling into memories of you, things we used to do.

2011-07-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

Sch was per normal on thus, dance was a little tiring. Did voices again. Ms low like awesome only. Somehow the best dance teacher i've ever met (: She ain't bias and she has loads of patience. Got a few roles now -happy- ((: Practised till 6 plus, close to 7. Dismissed late, home-d late. Tried to study but abit fail ah :/

Morning assembly, had a performance by drama on the fat thingyyy. Nice eh (: Lololol but was talking to brian and pearlyn throughout the whole assembly. Take care pearlyn ♥♥♥ !

Did 2 worksheets during chi and supposed to submit the other 1 but I forgotten. SHITTTTT. I'll hand up tmr. Hope she still accepts. My gfa marks ): Argh. This is what happens when I submit late. Wasn't concentrated at all cos I was talking all the way... :/

4 periods of eng, swapped with PE just for this wk for the extra interclass training. Had eng vocab test. Hopefully I pass ! Its ms lim's last day today ): Sighhh. Gonna miss her teachings. She gave us the froggie choc :3 Yummyyy. Went for recess, then came back for eng agn. Did some colour mixing thing with paint. Here's the colours phua gave to mix:

I had to mix to get the colours auburn and lime. Managed to get it (:

Then had hist. Was doing sci work lololol. But managed to do hist also. Learnt bout the maria hertogh riots and anti-national service riots. Did workbook exercise. Had chapel, then lunched with lynn at j8. Went home, slept; over-slept then went for dinner with lynn :X Tuition aft that.

Will this lesson be my last? ): Sigh I wonder if mummy is really gonna pull me out..

Having dance from 9-12pm tmr, gonna meet lynn tmr (:

Sigh whats wrong with me again ? I feel helpless. What gabriel said was so true. I was only with you for 1 month yet I still can't forget you completely. What fuck is this ughhh. I thought I alr forgotten you, guess I still have those little feelings. Im so confused. Is it just caring for you or ? Argh. Fuck it. Sleep is the best escape. So yeahh nites !

Buhbyeeee.

Am I just getting used to the pain or am I really forgetting ?

2011-07-20T19:48:00.003+08:00

Hello (: Sch as usual today. Woke up a little late then father started scolding like " knn @#$%^&* blah blah " Wah sian my ears ruined in the morn. Went to assembly. Aft assembly was maths. Ugh screw hsb seriously. Go fucking complain to phua say majority of the class nvr hand in work, now we needa stayback if we nvr do. And im dead cos I didnt bring my maths text bk home. Ughhh why complain to a woman sia you man eh.

Then chi period, did email writing. Hoho im so happy. Used all the space given for writing. Then had eng, did poem thing. Theres poem test tmr.. I hope i'll study it later (: Then recess.

Had sci aft that, was late for class. Is it romzee come earlier cos got teacher supervising or what ? LOL. Then halfway thru the lesson he suddenly tell us that he won't be late on wednesdays cos he dont have classes before that on that day. Like weird and no link eh, ppl studying suddenly tell us that . LOLOL. Sigh my sci work has yet to be done ): I dont do homework and study. Therefore I shall try today by blogging now and studying later !

PE2 aftwards, Mr lai was telling us the tactics for captain's ball. Keep saying we must beat peace class whatsoever. But he's such a sweet talker, tell other class that we're the weakest and told us that other classes are weaker ! Oh well anyways heard the news, we lost. LOL kinda expected la... This kinda cooperation cmi. And fuyi told me bout their flaws. So many flaws ! Looks like we're gonna be stuck in class during national day's eve ...

Then eng period again, did the same worksheet. Lower sec assembly was abt the LAVA vids, grats to natasha's grp (: They won first yeahh ♥ The editing was awesome. Surprisingly marsius's group won the best photoboard award, grats ((:

Got dismissed, lunched with brian, van and jacq at KFC. Lunch was damn awesome, talked bout so many things and they made me laugh like a g6. Hope to lunch with them more often ! (: ♥

Alright, bye !

Forcing smiles faking laughter.

2011-07-17T22:44:00.000+08:00

15/7/11

Had sch as usual in the morn, then went home and bathe, then went to j8 for dinner. Then headed to sch. Went for Ballet Under The Stars at fort canning. Assembled at the aes room, then went off. First thing heading in fort canning I saw, were the tombstones -__- They're freaking big. And luckily it was still day or else I'd freaked out.

Ate picnic, not bad till it started raining -.- Then it kept on raining, umbrellas were blocking, we kept shouting " OII ! PUT DOWN THE UMBRELLA ! " HAHAHA. But no one cared ): Then went to the building behind, MUCH BETTER VIEW. I didnt went to explore fort canning with the others. They said it was super scary, bats flew past and there were owls, and it was dark. Bought frolick (; Yummy. A normal coke can costs $3 there . Wtf ._. The men ballet, they did smth related to kungfu. Hotness. Abs ♥.♥ HAHAH. Then we joked say one of the men looked like tuna. Really sia, the bodybuild.

Went back during the 20 mins interval, didnt watch finish the show ): Went to j8 and met family, then went back home (:

16/7/11

Bro's birthday. He still nvr fail to make me pissed -'- Had dance in the morning, kinda slack though. Then lunched at kfc then went home Went to aunt's hse to celebrate bro's bday. The bbq was so yummy (: Then the cake was peppermint flavoured. Not bad eh.

17/7/11

Unhappy max the whole day .__. Got pissed off. Can I get out of this hse seriously ? Driving me mad. Forced me to get tuition, so went out and hunt for tuition -.- In the end also cant find, also all close alr. Really hate your stupid excuses for not letting me go for this and that. Why you so fucking bias also ? Everyday no peace sia. Sigh, sch starts tmr. Gonna have breakfast in the morning tmr at mac (:

HI JAY. (:

Alright bye .

You never fail to make my heart drop .

2011-07-14T23:29:00.001+08:00

Hey, imma just blog quickly cos im kinda tired and a lil' sleepy :/

Had assembly in the morn, sigh mrs tham caught us for our socks. So gotta wear sch ones tmr :/ So xiasuey, sit down there take out socks. Then went art lesson, finally im completing my magnet. Im lagging behind ... But I like my magnet (: I'll take a pic of it when its done.

Then went back for eng, passed phua my phone. She confiscated it ytd, then wanted to keep my phone till 4 but cant, so had to surrender it to her today during early morning but I didnt. Only surrendered to her during her period and she wants me to surrender it tmr too. Sigh, should I ? ):

Aft recess was hsb's period, usual happenings. Then had ict. Learnt to use a tripod. They split us into 2 groups, the guys were damn funny. They kept on laughing. Still didnt get to use comp ! UGHH. Mr loke promised us sia. We just sat infront of the comp with the powerpoint flashing in the comp. They freaking locked the comp -'-

Went back for cme period, slacked through it. Then got dismissed, went j8 with lynn, jas, amelia, ger. Ate subway. We all so bankrupt ): Practically went to j8 to eat everyday these few days. Growing fat alr. Then went back sch for dance.

Did ballet warm ups, then moved on to voices. I want yulin's role DD: Got super tired today. Teacher told us we have 2 upcoming performances in August.

Gonna watch ' Ballet under the starts ' tmr, hope no mosquitoes come for me whatsoever ! Alright, buhbyee (:

Don't you wish you could go back to when you hadn't lost anything ?

2011-07-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

Hi. Had chi early in the morn, I swear having chi as the first period sucks balls. I didnt bring my textbk, but I didnt admit. Lol until ms neo found me. Brought the wrong book, heng ms neo gave me chance (: Had to read the paragraphs but my row didnt, so we gotta ead the whole passage tmr ? If theres chi period..

Then had geog, FUN FUN FUN ♥ Mr sham's lesson like awesome only. Did worksheet marking during the first half of the period then treasure hunt for the second half of the period. Its kinda lame but at least we got to go out of our class and slack a little (: Hahah theres one lesson where lh ask mr sham to do the cat eyes, then mr sham did the ' Fuck you ' sign. You know, when you close up ur fingers like this:

Yeah he did that with both hands . HAHAHA.

Aft recess, had sci. Went to chem lab at lvl 1. Did experiments like the potato shrinking and expansion and the visking tube. Had fun splashing the tap water at each other :DD Heheh. Water was all around the table but we cleaned it.

Then went back class to have hist, super boring as usual. Connolly kept on screaming... Oh. Gonna have a hist test this coming fri :/ Ughhh..

Then maths. Hsb lesson still as plain and boring as ever. Teased him by calling him a PAP member then he leads the Boon Party :D HAHHAHAHAHAHA.

Alright i'll blog tmr . Buhbye .

And all you're ever gonna be is mean.

2011-07-11T23:20:00.000+08:00

K hello. Was kinda late for sch today, cos went to slack at mac earlier and saba was damn slow uh. Wanted to go off with fuyi but in the end got persuaded to stay :X So yeah, late. Almost got caught by alsagoff, lucky she didnt walk my side.

D&T was the first period, did theory stuff then headed for practical. Didnt really do much during for practical, just wrote stuffs on the wooden blocks. Then went for recess. Lol saw gabriel but he didnt see me @#$%*): He only see lh and shann ! D: This proves how invisible I am to him -'- LOL.

Sci period, did my own notes as usual. Haha adrian and vanessa were saying that imma photocopying machine cos I wrote so much. Hehehe.

Then had eng, dk why lester say phua was chio. Then when she come in, I was like, " Huh ? Got chiobu in red meh ? WHERE ? WHERE ? " HAHAHA pure sarcasm and cos she's wearing pink or red. Had lesson from that worksheet. She just teaches so fast. Cant catch up. Everyone's constantly asking her to slow down. Busy copying words during her lesson ): Then got dismissed ~

Went to j8 and lunched with brian. Hehe talked bout many many things ;) Then while walking to mrt, saw chloe and lh. I guess they misunderstood -__- Oh but who cares, as long as I know what im doing right (: Then went home.

Fuyi owes me bbt and he's gonna buy for me tmr . Hehe ^^ Alright, bye.

I gave up, im not expecting any surprises anymore.

2011-07-10T23:42:00.000+08:00

9/7/11

Had dance in the morning, then went to j8 till around 3 plus. Went home, used the comp till 5 plus then went to bathe and dress up. Went for the dinner at resorts world. Regretted, I over-dressed :/ The food they served sucks ah. All halal one. Dinner ended then walked around a little. Some pics :

K jasmine see my high heels now ? (: The nicer pics are in my phone but the comp cant read them ! Ughh. Thats all for saturday.

10/7/11

Practically at home the whole day using comp, boring max. Talked to vanessa on fb bout many things. Thanks for giving me those advices (: ♥

Why did I dream of you today ? The dream bout you talking to me. The way you talked to me isn't like now. It was like the past when everything sounded so sweet... Ah. Why did I have such a dream. Like you said, I dont hold a place anymore. I know this, I didnt over-estimate or anything. I alr gave up that hope.

Cfm, theres one day that you'll rmb me, why you didn't cherish me. That day will be the day when some girl broke your heart and forget you easily, when you're 100% into her.

Alright, bye.

You held your pride like you should've held me.

2011-07-08T23:53:00.002+08:00

Hello ! Had an awesome day today; the after part of the day (: First thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNN ! ♥♥♥

Once my wife, always my wife (:

Had chi in the morning, did compo. Oh fuckk. Just rmbed. I forgotten to pass it up -.- Fuckkk. I shall put it in her pigeon hole tmr.. Hope she see's it. Somehow? .__. And.. I haven't done the chi report yet.. Which I said I did it but my printer died. Then she asked me to send her by 9pm ? Which is over long ago. Im gonna dieee !

Then PE, captain's ball. Like fun ahhh, but bunny got injured . Karishma screamed to high.. High pitch. And it hurt her ear. Bunny, get well soon ! ♥ Fabo got chosen as captain for our class. Hmm I wonder who's gonna play for interclass.

Recess with Van, lh and shann.

Then had LA. Presented the LAVA vid. Like finally. But like fail sia. 8 mins plus. Out of time alr ): I guess im gonna fail the whole lava ? Sad. Then hist period, connolly didn't come. Mr pilo relieved. Now I guess I understand what gabriel meant by mr pilo is good (: Had cme, then ended sch.

Met lynn, jas, amelia, ger. Went to j8 to celebrate lynn's birthday. Went to swensen's and ordered food. Shared among us cos we were really bankrupt, having to buy cake and presents later. Me and jas went to icing room to buy and decorate the cake. Dont have the pic here but I guess she'll upload it later. Lol while decorating so many ppl were looking at us ._. Then called derrick to help us with the lighter since we didnt have one. Went back to swensen's to light the candles, but they didnt allow us to eat so went to third level to eat. Look at the mess !

Look at her hair. HAHAHAH

Actually it was messier. They ran around squirting it all over their body . Got badly iced by the icing ! Hehehe but was super fun though. Cleaned up the mess, then went to buy presents for lynn and jasmine. Went back home after that.

The dinner's tmr and I haven gotten a bag. omfg what to do. Bought heels ytd. Super high. Hahaha. Makes me taller than daddy (:

Alright, buhbye.

People change, feelings fade.

2011-07-05T23:00:00.001+08:00

K hi. Had chi in the morning, was late cos accompanied van and the rest to classroom to get textbook. Sadly the teacher took super slow. She was damn late la. Reached 2joy, ms neo was super fed up at us. Bad time to go in cos she was scolding ppl . End up getting punished too cos didnt do work . Lololol.

Then went for geog, had revision bout water supply then land supply test. Guess im gonna do bad cos I didnt pay attention when Mr Lew taught abt land supply ):

Recess with lynn, jas and amelia.

Mr romzee didnt come for sci, yayyyy. That means no practical (: But theres test on chapt F5 tmr. Shit im gonna die. Haven studied for it yet... Did the sci revision thing the relief teacher gave us then chatted with shann, lh and van.

Had hist, arghhh like super boring. Dont know what that connolly talking bout sia. So copied the work from van . Hehehe (:

Maths. Haw say boon didnt come. YAY. Slacked in class the whole time. Like super shiok ah. Just that the teacher keep giving us IQ questions. Aiyo our IQ like 0 liddat ): Then got released.

Went for dance. Surprisingly dt didnt scold me :O Did chi dance warm up then practiced voices. Lol damn joke. Me and lh were hyperventilating at the corner. Then there's one time she laughed till she spat saliva at me .___. YUCKKK. Still have other hyper things, but im lazy to type out.

Sigh im so tired of all this fucked up shit. I thought you would understand.. I really can't believe that you would get jealous, or even quarrel over this kinda small things. Unexpected. Really. You changed greatly... What's there to be left out ? ... I won't leave you out, I promise...

Hahah. Since when did you even care aft that day when you chose to forget me ? Im trying so hard to forget you. Maybe its working a little but when I see you my heart just keeps on beating so fast. I want to see you so fucking badly...

Alright, buhbye.

It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.

2011-07-04T23:42:00.000+08:00

Hello. Spent most of the time slacking my brains out at home. Used the comp till around 6 plus ? Then went to j8 for dinner and lil' shopping. Went to eat first, then bro showed me the photo of me and derrick. Fuckerrr. Go save the photo from idk where? From my blog? Should I private it? That thing totally ruined my mood before I started shopping. Good job ah (Y) Threaten me with that photo. Don't worry i'll delete it somehow.

Walked around, in the end bought BB cream only. Sigh. Those heels were too expensive in my mum's eyes. Didnt get it. Didnt get my bag too ... Mood ruined again cos mum blamed me again. Why don't you reflect on urself before blaming it on me ? Its fucking unfair. Small things also wanna blame me. If you wanna go do what you want, just go on and do. Im old enough to take care of myself. Told you that millions of times yet you still use me as an excuse, saying I always hold you back. Wtf.

Alrights otp with gabriel now. Buhbyee (:

Never will, never be :')

2011-07-04T00:56:00.001+08:00

Helloooo. Its alr 12. Good morning ! But I shall count it as 3/7/11, since im not asleep yet (: So anyways.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DADDY AND JASMINE ! ♥♥♥

Love them both loads (: Today wasn't really fun cos my mum spoiled my mood most of this times ... ._. So was really pissed and upset during each time.

Had a super fun late night conference with jas, matthew and gabriel. Hahaha. Gabriel and matthew were damn noisy most of the times. Then we called each other nicknames (: They really made me laughed loads. Made my morning ! ♥ Happy to be the first to wish Jas ' Happy birthday ' Hehehe.

Woke up super late, like around 1pm. Slept around 12h. Yayy (: Shiok max. Then slacked at home till 5 plus, then went to j8 for dinner. Ate that jap restaurant, opp mac. The food was niceee (: Then went to far east plaza. Walked around to find clothes. Could not find any .. Sigh.. So just decided to buy from MGP. I wonder how im gonna find the shoes and bag.. Hopefully i'll find it when i go out tmr .

Oh fuckkk. I reached the tweet limit ! Have yet to reply heeraj's and naqib's tweet. Nooooooo ):

Haha syazwan's sweet recently, just now. Awwww (: But I know it won't remain. LOLOLOL. Temporary sweetness.

Alright, buhbye.

We became so distanced, like strangers.

2011-07-02T00:10:00.000+08:00

30/6/11

Had art in the morning, still in the process of doing my claywork. Decided to make a new plate cos my plate doesn't suit my french fries. So ms quek helped me make a Mcdonald fries box. Its gonna dry by next wk and imma paint it ! (: Painted the french fries halfway then class ended... So hard to find the correct colour combination to make it look like a fry and appetizing ._. ended art class then headed for eng class.

Had media literacy test, sigh I hope i'll do well for it. Seems like everyone wrote so much and I wrote lesser D: ... Then had ms lim to teach us similies. Lol the one sitting at the corner watching ah, damn extra can. Ppl teaching halfway then suddenly cut in talk, jealous we listen to her teaching instead of yours ah. Hahaha.

Recessed with van, lh shann.

Maths was.. frustrating? Class was chaos and haw got angry and we all didnt care. He got so frustrated and we kept on guailan-ing him. Happy ending.

ICT. Aircon so cold and shiok, and I happened to be deprived of slp that day, and you know what happened yeah. Sleeping throughout the whole ICT period on and off. Really cant stand it. Tried to keep awake but mr loke's too boring. Mr ke kept on walking towards me, its like a warning to stay awake.. But then fell asleep in the end.. then he came over me and lh woke me up.. Then went to the toilet to wash my face..

Went for dance, slacking most of the time cos I aint performing for tmr. Guess im not going ? ... :/

1/7/11

Had chi period in the morning, did stuffs on textbook. Ms neo changed the sitting arrangement, now pichu's behind me and ronald will be sitting beside me ._. hmmm .

Then PE. Played captain's ball. Practised monkey ball first, chizhing was the monkey. Like super fun uh, me and shark keep throwing over her. Then played 3v3 with fabo, karishma and annabel. Played a few rounds, then mr lai put jackass in our grp and then lydia and louisa into fabo's grp. Mr lai helped us by playing with us for a few points. But in the end they won. Cos my grp was lousy. Y'know, jackass .... .__. ...

Recess, then eng. Hohoho the one sitting at a side was extra agn. Then had lava presentation, my grp's vid didnt appear in the disc.... CHIZHING @#$%^&* .... ): Wonder what she did aft that. She said she'll pass aft sch.

Hist period, left halfway cos had syf prize presentation . We went there early, hahaha. Then lined up outside the hall. Students started streaming in and kept on looking at us. Then dance was the first grp to go up, lucky sec 4 seniors first. Then us. Hahaha mrs ravi said lynn's name as " Lynn seo kang " when its supposed to be " Lynn seo kang lin " Haha. Thought she will pronounce my name wrongly but she just said it as " Hui Min " (: Shook hands with raja. Omfg her hand so rough ... ._. Eeeek. Then went back outside the hall. Got dismissed then went for lunch with lynn .

Guess im not going for the performance tmr? .. :/ Good luck for the performance tmr babes ♥ Anyways, jasmine's birthday is this sun and lynn's is next fri. I NEED MONEY SO DESPERATELYYYYY D: My saving plan kinda failed cos end up spending more then I wanted. Why must your be borne 5 days apart ! NOT ENOUGH TIME AND MONEY ! ):

It's funny how we always find ourselves wanting to run back to the ones we used to love, for some reason, thinking it would work out differently the second time.

Looked at the photos, heart dropped again ...

Buhbye.

The story of us

2011-06-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

Hiiiii. Its alr 10.30 plus. Intend to slp earlier today, so I shall slp around 11+ . I'll try .. (: K talk bout today.

Woke up late cos was doing transferring the lava vids to the thumbdrive for chizhing to edit. Transfer freaking slow. Ughh so slept at 1 plus. Woke up abit late, so went to sch myself. Luckily I wasn't late. So assembly started.

Went back to classroom for maths, boring shit. Statistics test coming up and i've yet to absorb anything. Die sua ? .. :/ Sigh . Went for chi aft that, had lessons from textbook. Hoho. Wasn't listening at all. Practically doing my eng book review :D

Ms phua's period. Gave her my book review. She said from today onwards not gonna give any marks . Wtf -'- ZZZ. But still collected it in the end. Hope at least I get some marks. My gfa points !! ): Had revision on media literacy test tmr, dont get a shit.

Recess, then romzee's period. Cant stand it. Straight for 3 days his lesson .. Don't listen to him at all, I do my one notes during his period (: Teehee. Had pe2 then. Measured height and weight. Wtf im still 166 after half a year. Noooo. I wonder if im gonna stop growing. I wanna grow till 168 ): And im not gonna say my weight here. But I lost weight yeah (:

Had eng agn, did revision agn. Boringggg. Then had lower sec assembly in class. Talked abt some stuff which I didnt pay attention to.. :X but we gotta do a mindmap on it. Then we got dismissed. Went to eat with lynn, jas and brian at pri sch canteen. Then brian and lynn went, me and jas went to study corner to do finish the parts needed for chi bk review. Returned the book aft finishing the sentences part. We'll just copy the summary from the internet, and the reflection, anyhow do (:

Slacked at j8 till 4 plus, then went home with daddy since he happened to be at j8.

Sigh. I dont feel like going for dance tmr. Cos most of the time are just gonna be spent on sword dance. But im not even performing. Just makes me feel worse. But i'll go for dance for the sake of learning voices ? .. :/

Taylor swift's song ' The story of us ' totally described how I thought and felt the whole time. So here it is :

Alrightt (: Buhbye.

Sick and tired of all this shit.

2011-06-28T23:46:00.001+08:00

Hello. Today ain't my day but brian, lester and derr made my night (: Hahahhaa . Had horny talk with them on twitter. Comparing boobs ! (Y) And cleavage. hahhaha . K shall blog bout today.

Had sch in the morning. Super tired when I woke up. Looks like I havent got used to sch time :@ So daddy fetched me to sch as usual. Happen to meet amelia outside so we walked into sch tgt. Then met lynn. Did abit of chi work. Then went for assembly.

Went to find ms alsagoff aft that. omfg like damn drag la. Check us alr still must wait for sec 3 come. Was so uncomfortable the whole time. Ughh. She says she gonna spotcheck us so I better dress up as a good girl this whole week ):

Then finally went for chi class super late. Chi class was normal. Good thing ms neo give us the book review due date by fri. She said we're gonna to reports or smth. ):

Went back for geog lesson agn. Was late agn :P cos went to locker. Love the geog lesson. Finally we had a proper geog lesson. After like a year ? Cos the proper lessons by mr lew were during sec 1 when we were quiet. Awesome eh, I managed to absorb ! Yay ! (:

Went to recess with lynn, jas and amelia. Chatted with them bout so many things.

Sci lesson aft recess, Romzee always open the door late aft recess. Dangerous cos ms alsagoff was walking around .__. Sci class still cant absorb, didnt know what the shit he was talking. Cant even rmb bout it now ! I was busy doing my own notes on chapt F6 but then shann told me it wasn't tested @#$%* effort wasted.

Hist lesson, did some poster thingy. Kept getting distracted by lh's and chun's hyperodation. She keeps on laughing, hitting and pulling his hair wtf ! AHAHA. So I was laughing too. Then I saw hari an started laughing. Cos hari's face very funny. Lh agrees to that too :D

Then maths. Dont like hawsayboon kay. At the start of the class kept on playing. Shann keep saying " HAW SAY" then me and bunny said " BOON ! " :D Kept on saying till the class greeted " Good afternoon mr haw say boon " LOLOLOL jokeeee. Then we kept on talking and laughing till he got fed up till he sent shann out of the class :P Didnt absorb anything he taught bout statistics. Im gonna die. Mummy's gonna pull me out from my awesome maths tuition ! NOOO ): I rather go and learn at my own pace rather learning at everyone's pace. My maths sucks and learning and normal ppl's pace wont help.

Was in happy mood during dance till the rehearsing in the sch hall. Dt cut 5 of us out of the dance. Fuck. Idk why but, I didn't feel like performing but aft getting cut out I felt like performing :X ... Gahh. Makes me feel very left out. Its like those ppl that didnt get kicked out, are all those ppl that he needs. He doesnt even need the 5 of us. We're just extras. Fuck it. Feeling depressed cos I talked bout this. Shittt. Dont feel like going there to see them perform.. Cos its just gonna make me feel worse. Sorry guys ♥ ... I feel so disappointed in myself ...

And yes, I still didnt do my work. And im gonna copy the vids into the memory card now ! ._.

Buhbye .

Everything's different between you and I now.

2011-06-27T19:28:00.002+08:00

K hi, finally blogging agn. I hope I have loads to say cos I havent been blogging these few days and oh well, its okay if you die of boredom while reading this post :/

My comp's mouse spolied ytd. Argh. The right click button died. Thats why I could copy the image urls from tumblr. I realized how hard it is to survive on the comp without a right click button. I hope daddy gets a good new mouse agn. Cant sleep agn, so slept at around 1 - 2 am ? ): Not used to the sch timing.

So went to slack before sch today. Went to mac with sab, shane and jay, then went off when fuyi came. Hehehe. Awesome bro ♥ He wont really pangseh me uhh (: So we went to find derrick at void deck, then slacked awhile. And suddenly it rained wtf. Rain damn heavy somemore. So we ran to sch. All drenched ! Caught a little chill in D&T class.

Did some stuffs on mechanism in D&T, Ms doreen tang was our teacher. Average teacher. Gonna learn and do some stuffs on the cam. Gonna start practical next wk. Yayyyy.

Went of to recess with lh, shann and van. While walking back from recess got caught by alsagoff. Fag sia. Hope she doesnt announce our names tmr. Xiasuey max. Suey, first day get caught le.

Had sci aft that, as boring as usual and totally didnt hear what he was talking. Practically doing my own notes from the textbk .__.

Geog aft that, new teacher, Mr Sham. Cool shizz la he. Awesome modern and sick minded kind of teacher. Hahaha. Like, he wrote ' boobs' instead of 'books' . Then he gave some examples on the rules such as ' Being late for class, the reason example, vomiting cos ur pregnant.' , ' Emergencies calls such as your girlf giving birth ' and ' sending hug and kisses, xoxo to ur boyf' . Awesome max la. Nvr expected a teacher to say this kinda things (Y)

Then ms phua's lesson aft that, normal. Nth changed.

Went to j8 mac to eat with fuyi derr, min, naqib and piyabut. Me and piyabut were shooting ice and whatever .__. then he started shooting ice at others but it kept hitting at some aunty. LOL. Went to walk around, then went home.

Everything's so different now, you just simply guailan. Hahah wtf :')

Not used to sch life. Fml.

Buhbye.

You put up a flimsy facade to try to hide the cruel fact you don't want to see. - Derrick

2011-06-25T13:33:00.000+08:00

24/6/11

Went to fly kite agn, kinda fail. Didnt know how to get to marina barrage, took a long time getting there. Ended up walking to marina bay sands ._. Lol wtf. Then wasted time at a bus stop then went to take a taxi. And finally we got to marina barrage. The wind was low so the kite was hard to put up :/ Tried countless times, the kite managed to fly up but still went down ._.

Slacked there till around 7 or 8 ? Then went to marina square for dinner. Ate at the food court. Then went with shanon to see find clothes for his senior's ROD. Sadly could not find the purple cardigan he wanted. Went to get Anderson's ice cream, yummy ^^ Then went home. Fattening food, gotta work out.

25/6/11

Woke up around 11 plus. Have been waking up at this hour since hols. Wonder how am I gonna survive when school reopens. Planning to go off to do work now, right aft this blog post. Gonna have bbq at bukit timah later ^^ Fun fun fun. But imma work out loads when sch reopens luh.

Dont know why I dont feel like perfoming for the ASEAN conference. Small stage, can slice ourselves. Just feel that everything around me is plain boring. Moodless. ): Sigh.

Alright buhbyee.

Filming !

2011-06-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

Hello ! Filming today was FUN FUN FUN ! :DD So many NGs in me and fuyi's quarreling scene. All cos he kept forgetting his lines and I kept laughing ! Took around 1h just to film that scene. Waste time and joke much ? (: Slacked most of the time in the room. Then had chats with them. Fun max yeahh.

Lol so weird.. When I was alone in my room while their in my bro's, then I had a memory flash .. ._. Y'know. Cos last time when I was in my room alone.. You went to my room then grabbed my hand and kissed me.. Oh well. Guess im forgetting you quite well alr ? (: Haven really thought much bout you recently.

Then mask came over to my hse to find jodan. Filmed the last scene then they went off . Hohoho. Fuyi will buy me bubble tea soon :D

Gonna go marina barrage tmr to fly kite agn. Hw's not done. The sci ws thats infront of me still isn't done ._.

Alright. Buhbyeee (:

Running out of time.

2011-06-23T00:01:00.000+08:00

Hello! Theres smth wrong with blogger. Can't post the photos that i wanted. Argh @#$%&* Oh well. I'll just blog normally. Had dance practice today. Kinda fun but tiring. Fun part was that me and shann kept joking bout the likeaboss thingy :D So aft each time we did that movements and had to repeat, we likaboss catwalked back to the start point. HAHA joke max. Other parts was the rolling out part, we kept banging against each other. Theres other fun parts but I guess im just too lazy to type out :X Went home with lynn.

I realized there isn't much time left. I thought sch start nxt nxt wk. But it actually starts nxt wk. So I was kinda shocked aft shann and the rest told me it actually starts nxt wk ._. Time flew too fast for me alr.. Dance and maths camp took up my first wk, then went out on the second wk, filming on the third, and this wk was dance and filming. Ahh. Haven really done hol hw. Only did hist and geog ? :x Oh shit, have to return the huamulan book by 29 June. Havent read it yet. I guess imma chiong on tmr and fri ?

Just cfmed with jodan that i'll be filming tmr. Told fuyi but I guess he's slping. Hope he can make it ):

I have ugly feet aft so many friction burns and sliding of toes on the floor. Pain shit kay. Alright, thats all for today. Buhbyee .

End of post.

Worn out .

2011-06-21T23:04:00.000+08:00

Heyyy. Totally worn out by today's practice. Got bruises and blisters agn. Luckily wore knee guard today, or it'll be worse. My left knee kept on getting hit by the floor since last yr. Aft some jump part in dance. Then ytd when i jumped down, and aft that moment I cant even walk properly. Its like a sharp pain piercing ._.

Dt like damn fuckup can. Call amelia san ba then say our dance is more like bronze and its like shit. Nvm. Anyways is he ownself choreograph one. I wonder if got other teachers like that. Gonna learn voices and fan dance. Tiring max. Haven start on fan dance yet, still on voices. Learnt 3 group works last time, but havent been practicing it. Luckily with the help of others today we managed to recall (: Dt wants it to be good by next thurs. Is there even pract on that day? o.o Sighh . Hope I can recall the steps for tmr practise.

Had filming today before practice. Joke ttm. One of it was that it was a NG, then jodan laughed and the book fell off the railing. So it fell to the metal shutter thing on the first level . So he climbed down the railing to get it. When he was standing on the shutter it was bending ._. So he quickly grabbed the book and climbed up. Hahaha his legs were struggling to go up on the flat wall. Luckily got railing support uh. Hahaha. Then jodan looked at karishma's epic face and kept on laughing. So alot of NGs . Used a few cheats by putting the scipt at somewhere not possible for the camera to see. Successful ^^

Alright, I wanna catch up on clif alr. Buhbyee ! (:

End of post.

Happy father's day (:

2011-06-19T23:59:00.001+08:00

Hellooo. Today's like the best father's day :D Had lots of fun. Slacked at home till 5 plus, bathed then went to marina barrage around 6 plus. Damn nice. It was windy. Went to fly kite ^^ haha. Not die yeah, really fly kite (: Successful first attempt. Some epic moments. My bro let loose of the handle of the kite and he ran for the kite when its almost flying up. HAHAHA. Super retarded kay. Took fotos, shall upload them on fb and shall post some here later on.

Went to eat sakae sushi aft that. Ate so many sushis ._. Was so full. Yummyyyy max. Gonna have dance tmr, 2-6, workout ^^ Haven typed out the reflection yet... Oh well, shall do it later.

Someone's spiderman kite !

Hehe thats all for today. Buhbye ! (:

End of post .

Time machine .

2011-06-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

Nihao. Plain bored today. I had this weird dream. Super weird. Imma type out, don't laugh :P

I dreamt that I was some police . Then I was chasing some thief at the carpark. Then I shot the thief below his butt there ._. then he fell and started shooting me. He shot me at my hand and hip . It only hurts a little and I didn't bleed O.O Then I went to those clinic, you know, those help you do massage or acupuncture one ? Yeah. Then the person massaged my back, then checked my hip. My hip had a freaking hole. I look in and I saw my stomach moving wtf .GROSS SHIT KAY . YUCKKK. Then I woke up and I touched a dream. Lucky it was only just a dream ._. Kinda freaked out. My brain so imaginative and naughty uh ~

Gonna go bukit timah later. And my hol work not done yet. Shit. Still gotta ask whether jodan free for filming. Sighh. Alright buhbye .

End of post.

170611 ♥

2011-06-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

Hello. Had loads of fun today (: Went to bugis with lynn, jas and amelia. Met them there around 5 plus? Then went to take neoprints (: ♥♥♥ Oh yeah. Really love that machine. The pics turned out so nice (: Jasmine will upload the pics tmr. Hahah.

The show was nice yeah. By Mr Yu Ho Sik and Ms Low ! Even though they say the moral of the story was a husband and wife, marriage getting worse and worse cos of things. But I dont really understand the movements. I just understand the frustration there. At least I understood smth ! (:

Before the show, went to the white studio and camwhored, they off-ed the light and placed candles instead, and jasmine's camera flash was really bright ._. Eye pain . Soon then the performers came in and introduced themselves then we went to take a foto with Mr yu (: Rachael, shann and amelia got his autograph. And they got for lh too ! So, lh, don't sad kay ! (:

Trained home aft that, then lynn's dad fetched us home. Used the comp aft tha, and now im blogging. Kept on yawning constantly, maybe i'll go get changed and slp soon (:

My heart still aches, I still miss you. Sighhh. Fml. Why do I care even when you don't ?

Thats all for today, buhbye.

End of post.

It's the little things you will always make me fall the hardest .

2011-06-17T00:21:00.000+08:00

Hellooo. Its alr 12 and this will be counted as a post for tmr.. ._. Oh well..

Had bad news at night cos jodan said he couldn't film today cos of high fever. Idk whether to trust anot cos Jas told me he was still awake at 3am and I could tell he went out today I guess ? Wah liddat high fever like imba sia. But it shall still be an assumption. Since idk whether its really true.

Slacked awhile at home, then went out to plaza sing. Kept on walking, then went to daiso. Hehe, bought some stuffs for my table. Maybe i'll put them up tmr ? Provided there is a moment when im not lazy. Muahaha (: Went to eat at Maxwell road food court, then went home. Reached home around 10+ .

Gonna go for neoprint, dinner then dance show tmr. OH YEAHHH ~ (: FUN FUN FUN. Oh wait. Shit. I don't have nice clothes for tmr. Gahhhh ... ._. I'll find clothes.. Somehow..

Alright, imma try slp alr, since he didn't reply...

End of post .

LAVA filming - Day 1

2011-06-16T00:09:00.002+08:00

Heyyy. Had filming today at sch. Ahh. cant wear home clothes alr, later that woman scold ._. Sigh, so hard to get a classroom cos theres not teacher in-charge or whatever -.- Lava filming sucks. So epic and hard to film. Sigh. Cant really view the vid on comp cos its so laggy. Such a big size file vid. Pathetic. Idk how im gonna edit it. So fucked up. Im doing all the work alone. This is what happened when I called kenny :

Me:

Eh where you

Kenny:

Who are you ?

Me:

HUIMIN

Kenny:

Oh sorry I just came back from holiday.

Me:

Sua. -kup fone-

Wtf sia. Idk whether can trust him lo ? -.-

Im so forgetful. Forgotten to film the scene aft jodan does his hw. ARGH ): Gonna have to film it tmr. Busy busy. From morning till evening, filming. Argh. Hate it.

Sighs. Whats wrong with you. What the fuck are you thinking boy ? I wasn't angry over you not helping me. Its cos of my mum. And I guess that tweet " You don't . You never did . That's why it's over (: " I guess its referring to my tweet " Idk whether to trust you anot uh -.- " For goodness sake. Its not referring to you ? Its for the fucking slacker Kenny in my class silly. Whatever, if you think that im guilty thats why I think ur tweet its referring to me. Or if that tweet you posted wasn't referring to me. Nvm. Thats just how I think kay. Yeah. Its my fault thats why we ended. Yeah. Everything's my fault kay. Lol you dont know how a simple tweet you posted can just crush my heart. Oh well, you don't even care right ? Ahaha. I just want you back. So much regrets. But I know its impossible alr. How I wish I can turn back time. I FUCKING MISS YOU.

Alright. Day 2 filming tmr, buhbye.

End of post.

Pirate ! 140611 ♥

2011-06-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

Hellooo. Went out with jasmine from the morning today (: Was in j8 the whole time. Watched the 11:50am pirates of the caribbean 4 movie. The movie like damn niceeee ! Awesomee (: The mermaids were pretty, but don't get fooled by their appearance cos they'll eat you up. Don't judge a book by its cover ! But it doesn't really seems good cos theres no will turner and elizabeth swan anymore ):

Went to the lib aft the movie, studied awhile then went to study at mcdonalds. Study camwhore study camwhore. Only ended up doing hist ! ._. Oh well. Who cares. Shall do the rest some other time. Some of the pics :

Jasmine uploaded the rest on fb (:

Sigh. I shouldn't have read that tweet. I simply think too much. How I really want to stay away and forget you, but I just can't .. The moment I want to stay away, I feel so much regret. Idk why im like this. Im so tired of sleepless nights. Everyday I make myself tired, but when I lie on my bed im totally awake, thinking bout random shit. Idk how im gonna handle this when sch starts. Isit insomnia? ... Sigh .. I wonder if anything that reminds me of you, reminds you of me. There's so many questions popping out in my head, all bout whether you still care or miss me. But I know.. That the answers are just a simple ' No. ' ... Ur not helping out in my lava filming anymore. Really want you to help ... Sigh... Guess thats just fate that we won't get a chance again, to repeat what happened that day.

My life's not even that bad. But sometimes every little issue just sneaks up behind me, and suddenly, I can't breathe. Can't feel. Can't think. Can't heal. I hate it that im so weak that I can cry out tears of anger.

Bye.

End of post.

Advanced father's day .

2011-06-12T23:50:00.000+08:00

Nihao. Had father's day dinner today, at some restaurant. Food there was quite good though. But it only lasted for and hour plus ? Then we went home. Oh. That reminded me. I haven't changed out of my clothes yet. Shall change aft blogging this (:

Haha, spammed jasmine's wall since ytd. Like super fun ! Continued today, and now. Wonder how long we'll be spamming each other. Kinda bored the whole day. Just on the comp. Sent my script to ms phua, she said she cant read cos its not in the 'doc' form. So I had to try to convert it. Until just now then I managed to convert it aft so many tries ._.

Oh, you're back from camp alr. Hmm. I guess you're slping alr.

Rawr. Im very deprived of late night calls ): Ahhhh. Just have to get used to it and live without it. Nth to blog bout alr, buhbye (:

End of post.

110611 ♥

2011-06-12T01:24:00.001+08:00

Hi. Had an awesome day ytd, which was today cos I haven't slp yet and its alr past 12. so yeahh (: Shall blog bout the fun outing. Met at raffles city around 1 plus, den went to sushi tei to eat. Omg the food there so yummy ♥.♥ ! Some pics here:

Pretty Polaroids ! ♥

My cousin uploaded the rest of the pics on fb, but I think you all cant see it. Oh well. At sushi tei, we kept on ordering loads of food. Bill come up : $300 + ? .__. But I didnt order so much kay. Just ate udong and a few side dishes. Fats. RARARA. Gotta look out on what I eat alr !

Walked to marina, to the arcade (: Teehee. Didnt play much there. But took neoprints ! Aunt's gonna photocopy it. I wonder why they wanna do that though. Oh well but I looked good in it :D That means I must go bugis soon. With those awesome-st; for neoprints :DD JASMINE AHH, LETS FORK OUT MORE MONEY FOR NEOPRINTS :P ♥ I wanna take damn so badly! Jas, I bolded those words for you. I HOPE YOU CAN SEE :D

Bought amos famous cookies, yum yum (; Ate it while on the way to aunt's hse. Reached aunt's hse, rested awhile and ate abit of dinner. Was so full since lunch so I didnt eat much ! Im tired, I hope I can slp. Ytd I couldnt. I was tired but when I was in bed I was awake thinking of you ! ._. RAWRRRRR .

Tmr, which is today ? Yeah. Going for some dinner in the evening for father's day at bukit panjang. When is father's day anyway? ._. Wonder what i'll wear tmr, running out of nice clothes. Alright, buhbye .

End of post .

Nostalgia .

2011-06-11T00:18:00.001+08:00

Helllooo. Stayed at home most of the day, just went out for lunch and tuition only. Whenever im alone, i'll drown in my thoughts. And, my thoughts are mostly bout you. So imma type it down all here. Don't wanna read it, you're free to leave this page. Im not complaining or neither its whims and indecisiveness, just letting out my feelings cos im just so tired of keeping them in my heart. They just keep on repeating in my head.

Even when im busy, you'll still be in the back of my mind, so im still thinking bout you. Its how frustrating, knowing that how bad that im missing you, while you don't even give a fuck anymore. Really hurts. I really regret. Why didn't I accept the patch. Maybe, if we patched we would really last ? Sigh... I don't mean anything to you anymore. The way you talk to me, simply guailan.

I was really bored, so I went back to those tweets and fb posts. I wasn't stalking kay ._. Looked at the way how you talked to me, and those really sweet words we said to each other. Then I realised I was smiling. Smiling to myself .__. How silly am I. Then I too, realised that those memories aren't gonna happen agn. It will never ever come back agn. So my smile kept on fading aft every happy moment. It felt like my heart kept on dropping a tear.

Its like, even though we lasted for 1 month plus, we had so much memories. Even the simplest, being at the mrt brings back memories. Everytime when im alone I keep on wishing and hoping that you're beside me to accompany me. Haha silly me, that won't happen anymore. How I wish we were meant to be.

You're in camp now, wonder how are you doing. Really hope to see you during lava filming.

Gonna go sushi tei tmr with cousins tmr I guess ? Finally get to go out with them ♥ Hope at least they would help me to not think of you ? :/ Haha okayy, imma try slp. Im sick of being tired and when I get to bed to slp, I feel awake -.- ..

End of post.

080611 ♥

2011-06-09T00:48:00.000+08:00

Heyy. Had a super long tiring day today. But idk why im still awake and its midnight alr. Shall quickly blog then slp. Finally kinda tired, hope i'll have a peaceful slp. Didn't slp well these few nights, cos theres smth in my mind that kept bugging me to keep awake, so I kept on sleeping late and waking up early.

Met derrick, naqib, min, jingyu, brian and dion in the morning. Walked around j8 while waiting for brian and dion. Then derr and jy went to puff then we went to the swimming complex. Met matthew there, hoho. See luhh ~ Ton then so tired ! Dion kept on chasing me, so I was screaming and swimming like a szb ._. xiasuey max . Then felt emo. So went to rest and suntan. Stayed in the swimming pool till 1, den went to j8 to eat with brian and dion. Met jasmine and amelia there, went to walk around then to the library to find chi book. See, we're good girls (: Went home aft that.

Saw 6Grace'09 's gathering, right under my blk. So went to join them aft putting my bag upstairs. Gahh, thought I wouldn't get wet or what, but they made me wet. So played water bomb, then block catching. Haha childhood games but fun yeah. Many malays there. Mostly are from my kindergarden (: Had much fun there. The bbq kinda fail uh, dono how start the fire. Until 7 plus den managed to start. Wasted boxes of fire starters. And the food had all the charcoal stains sticking around there ._. ate it.. But luckily nth happened to me. So yeah (: Left around 8 plus, then went back home for dinner (:

Whats wrong with me? Maybe this is why I have restless nights.

Buhbyee.

End of post.

What are words if you don't mean them .

2011-06-07T16:46:00.000+08:00

Hi there. Went to watch kungfu panda 2 ytd. Omg Po like super cute only ! ♥ Some parts were super joke. Really awesome show (: Met sab and joseph at j8. Joseph kept on trying to confuse me that he's gerald ._.

Went to cut my hair aft that. Argh. Stupid cheena lady. I said trim then she gave me one long explanation on how bad my hair condition was and then she cut 2 fucking inches of my hair. Now its back to the length of how it was like during Jan. And doesnt even look like layered ! And its freaking thick now. UGHHH fugly hair. Ruined my whole day ytd ): Hope my hair faster grows before sch reopens, or else i've no idea how to pin my fringe up.

This is !%^&#$&!%!

Buhbyee.

End of post.

Surprise me with kisses .

2011-06-05T13:29:00.000+08:00

3rd June 2011

2nd last day of dance camp. Mummy didnt allow me to go out so early, so went off like around 11. Went to iluma and met with lynn and jas. Otw to iluma, met lh, rachael, shann, amelia. Then went to empire state. I thought I ordered a normal sandwich but they gave me a super big burger cos they ask me to choose a bread type so I chose that -.- Kay so its like so much fries too. So chiong ate, then chionged to odt. Reached a little late, but luckily dt wasn't there yet . Then soon he came and we carried on with the dance classes. Practised for the showcase, grouped with amelia and lynn. In the end we grped with germaine too. Thought of our solos. Hmm my solo part was simple. I liked lh an jas's duet. Like supa nice only ! ♥ Then amelia and ger wanted to solo in the end. So yeah, left me in lynn so we teamed up. Choreographed our dance. Liked it ♥ Went home around 7.30.

4th June 2011

Last day of dance camp. Went to j8 with lynn, then met jas. They ate saybons while I bought kfc up :3 teehee. Then went to odt. We went early so we could choreograph our dance. Reached there, went to white box and choreographed. We choreographed finish, just that we had to polish. So polished during the time given to practise. Had warm up classes, then the time to practise, then showcase. Showcase was cancelled, so we only performed for a few ppl, while they videotaped us. Then went in to watch some parts of soaring odyssey. Went to take mrt to newton aft that, then took 171 to bukit timah. Nvr take b4. Gosh I was so stupid. I didn't recognise the road then I thought I took the wrong bus and I alighted at some ulu place. Then got 1 171 pass by but nvr stop for me -'- ARGH. So freaking ulu. Most of the time I was alone. And it was alr dark ): Ahhh scared max. Around 10 mins then another 171 came. ohmy. It seemed so longgggg. Reached bukit timah in the end. In one piece (: Yayy. At least now i noe how to get there myself. Ate dinner, slacked there for awhile then went home.

5th June 2011

Hopefully im gonna go bukit panjang today. Miss my cousins ♥♥♥ Sometimes I meet them each week, sometimes we dont meet for 3 weeks. They really make me smile (: HEHE. And I guess i'll be going out with my other cousins to watch kungfu panda. And on sat we'll go out for hi-tea? ((: OH yeah. This coming wed's gonna be awesomeeee. Gonna swim and gym with fuyi, derr, brian, jingyu. Hopefully lh can come. LH PLS COMEEEE ! FUN FUN FUN FUN ♥ Gonna watch pirates of the caribbean 3 now (: Alrightt buhbye (:

End of post.

Bad backache .

2011-06-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

Hi there. Maths camp ended today and its only day 3 for dance camp. Skipped amazing race and went for dance instead. Thaddeus stayed for the whole thing and he said it was boring. Luckily we skipped (: Went to j8, then the face shop. Bought 2 pink nail polish and top coat. Muahahah imma paint them like real soon or later (: Then went to mac to find lh and shann. Took mrt to tanjong pagar aft that.

Reached early at odt, so went in the room and slack. Did reflection. Then soon dance started. Did the same exercises. Really don't feel like dancing. Body aching and it hurts ! Doing the same exercise and holding on to that same painful position, total sian-ess. Im still thinking of my cubism moves. Hopefully my choreography will suit shannon's so we can team up. Or else i'll just join lynn and amelia. Ended dance at 7, then went back home. Reached home around 8.15 .

Hope I can go out tmr with lynn and jasmine ! SURVIVE DANCE. FIGHTINGGG!! CUBISM YOU SUCK ._. Alright, buhbye.

End of post

Regrets .

2011-06-02T00:05:00.002+08:00

Heyy. Didn't post ytd's blog post cos mummy threatened to pull the comp plug -.- So yeah, posted it today in the previous post. Shall blog bout today.

Woke up in the morning, so tired. Daddy fetched me to sch for maths camp. Stayed in the comp lab during the whole day for maths camp. Doing the expansion and factorisation thing using the comp. Kinda tired so wasn't interested. The comp damn jialat. Use awhile, lag, blackout den crashed. Almost everyone's comp in that lab also liddat. So ended up switching 2 or 3 comps. Then rushed the factorisation during break time so can go off earlier for dance. Went off at 11am.

Went to j8 with amelia, then met lh, shann, thaddeus at mcdonald's . Lol they were so crazy. Somehow, lh and shann were saying that Thad loves bloom. And he ended up becoming bloom. And his husband is Sky. LOL. Epic shit. Kept on laughing. then shann shoot water from the straw to thad's face and he threw fries at her. Lh kept on laughing and teasing him. Then he became our SISTER. Kept calling him that, even during dance. Then went to look at mphosis, nubox and cotton on. Took mrt to tanjong pagar aft that.

Changed at the mrt toilet then went to odt. Quickly did the pablo picasso thing and the syf reflection. Dt came and we did warm ups aft that. Classes as usual, mr tan, ms low, then video, then mr tan. Gosh, haven thought about any cubism movements yet.. Sighhh. And haven do the reflection on the sylvia smth smth. Some pro dancer. Will do it tmr.

Maths camp tmr agn, guess im gonna miss the amazing race cos imma leave early agn. My body's aching is getting bad alr. Bad signnn. Hope I can tahan till sat. Mr tan said that we gonna perform somewhere on 2nd July.

Boy, every girl will have those thoughts before patching. Trust me.Yeah thanks for ur savvy explanation. Ur really smart. You can give me up so easily and forget me. Wowwwwwwww. Blame it on me k. Its all my fault. I shouldn't complain so much, then all these wouldn't happen. Sorry, but im fickle-minded. Anyways, you'll find someone much better than me. I never said you had to hear my whims and indecisiveness. It was ur choice. Dogs are cute and lovable.

End of post .

Too young to be this broken. Too young to fall apart.

2011-06-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

31st May 2011

Hi. Had maths camp in the morning today. Wasn't in the same grp as him. Aww shit. Karen tan took our class. Can't really absorb in her class cos she talks just so fluently and quickly. She's okay though.. Much better then Mr haw. Doing the cut and paste thing was joke. Especially amelia. She spoiled 2 glues. The first glue shoot out while the second glue ended up pouring out the whole thing. Joke ttm. Then stayed in class for break. Was doing work so can go off earlier for dance. Went off at 11, then to pri sch for amelia to buy chicken rice then went to j8 to meet shann and lh. Went to eat kfc. Took mrt to odt.

Dance camp. Wasn't really as jialat as last yr's . Didn't dance under the sun today. Stayed in the black box for most of the time. Learnt abt some picasso thing. Havent done the questions yet. Imma do it in maths remedial tmr. Went home at 7, reached home at 8 .

I really feel like crying now. Like seriously. You know, that really shows how much I don't mean to you anymore. It shows that you don't even care. 7 june, THURSDAY. Rmb what I told you ? What I planned on a thursday ? If you don't rmb den that really shows that I don't mean anything to you anymore. Like you can forget bout this kinda things.

I'll let go.

2011-05-31T00:03:00.003+08:00

Hey. Did practically nth much today, just used the comp and watched pirates of the caribbean 1 & 2 . Hopefully I can watch 3 soon then watch 4 in the movies. Kinda nice (:

Finally got a chance to talk with you ytd night. Ahahaha. I cried so hard again. For a long time. Haven't been like this for a long time. History repeats itself. Heartbreak again. Haha, expected it, you alr forgotten and got over me. Swee. You won't even care anymore. I felt so silly letting some of my feelings out. Lol I wanted to say it out all but idk why my mouth cant open.

I feel so foolish. When I know you'll forget me sooner or later, I hung on there with that little hope, hoping that we'll still get back tgt. Ahaha, foolish me, you got over me alr. You won't even give a fuck abt reading this blog anymore. My mouth cant open for those words, ' I Love You' . Really can't.

Imma let go of you slowly. I needa accept the fucking fact that you and me won't exist anymore. Fake smiling shall my forté (; I'll walk alone without you.

Alright, needa go slp soon. Maths and dance camp starts tmr, hope i'll survive ! Maybe i'll buy snacks. Its gonna be super tiring. Hopefully I still have energy to blog uh ~ Or watch pirates of the caribbean :3 Gonna chiong swim someday in nxt wk ! To wash away all the pain ~ And, jas's gonna lend me her pink nail polish. I'll paint it alt with my neon pink one. I think it'll look pretty (:

Buhbyee !

End of post.

Drifting apart ...

2011-05-28T14:27:00.001+08:00

Heyy. Had a fucked up parent meeting ytd. Today fucked up my last day of sch. Last day of sch was just a plain ordinary usual day for me, idk why other ppl are so excited for it. Yeah talk abt parents meeting. P kinda praised herself by talking abt chi at the start and saying that thats how good her chi is aft 2 yrs in china. Then they went on with my crappy results. Good lo ? Pick on all my bad results? Nvr even talk bout my hist and geog when I got As for it. -'- picking only. Drag dance in somemore ? Puhh-lease. Dance isn't even affecting me. Ur lucky that tear didnt drop out of my eye when ur were talking abt quitting dance. Theres no way I would quit dance. Complain abt the smallest things abt dancing barefoot ? Its not even ur foot. ITS MINE. And dance is meant to be barefoot -.- ? If I can suffer that pain why should you even complain ? Fuckery. Do you have brains have cca points will help in my academic ? -'- Stupid. If I drop out, all the points will be gone. YOU FUCKTARDS, I JUST HAVE NO MOTIVATION IN STUDYING SO STOP TALKING COCK AND DRAGGING STUFF IN -'- Dragging my friends in ? Oh fuck off please. Nth better to say . Aft parents meeting treat me so good, you think my anger will subside ? Fool, those words will be stuck in my head forever.

Its june hols alr. Guess im gonna be a little budy with dance, lava and work .. Hope I can go out :/

Sigh.. Guess you're really getting over me alr .Guess I should start getting over you too.. How I wish you would hold me back and not let go. Its alright I understand. Cos of those probs... You'll forget me easily ;) ... Ytd.. You told me that you'll give me a hug .. But in the end you didn't ... Usually when we're tgt you would constantly look back when im behind and get close to me, but nope.. Now you wont. Standing apart. Cried loads over you.. I really miss you. I guess I really don't mean anything to you now... Just a girl that walked past your life . Alright imma go off now.. buhbye ..

End of post.

Heartache .

2011-05-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

Heyy. Had sch as usual today, den aft sch went with lester to lunch with zoey. Hahaha. So long nvr see her le. Can't recognize her voice :P And she got more retarded .__. Went to mcdonald's . Zoey kept on pinching my fries. Then walked to 4th lvl to find a present for her. Finally made a bracelet for her (: Hope you love it. Sorry for being so cheap cos we don't have much cash on us D: Argh the blogger thing so lagging. Practically my whole com is lagging. IRRITATING >< ..

Practically whole day of sch u dao me. What ur prob @!^%$*# UGHH. Totally ruined my mood. Felt like crying somehow ... Reached home, just lay on the bed. Really no mood to do anything ... Felt like crying agn... But fell asleep instead.. Its like a heart getting torn apart. Fuck, even if you say sorry, its not like i'll recover from it right -.- ? Stop saying alr uh .. Zzz. Shouldn't be ranting so much. Dun wanna add on to ur burdern ... Oh fuckitall... FML .

End of post .

Boy you're an alien .

2011-05-24T23:39:00.000+08:00

Heyy ... Not really in the mood to blog, but shall blog anyways...

Was late for my daddy to fetch, so went to sch by my own kind of transport -.- Reached late, but lucky still can go in. Had chi for the first period in the morn, slacked. Was just freaking tired and sian. Then had aesthetics. Watched some movie den change to monster hse. Didn't watch finish cos it was recess. Had sci slacked like for the whole 2 periods. Oh shit, haven do my work. And I think I left it in sch. UGHH @%$!^%$ Then had hist. Slacked too. Did super less work. Then had the boring shit maths. UGHH fuck no; I failed my overall. 43/100 ): ARGH, and I needa go for the maths camp during hols. 31st - 2nd June. And my dance camp is like 31st - 4th june. So i'll go off earlier with other dancers to lunch den go to the camp. Will be like out from 8.30am in sch till 7pm after dance. ughh. Reach home will be like around 8pm ? ): Oh well I guess im gonna be busy in june hols with hol work, dance and filming .

Had dance just now. OH YEAH, MOVED ON TO CONTEMP DANCE. BUHBYEE CHI DANCE ! :D Did contemp warm ups just now. Hope i'll get used to it and memorise it soon. Den learned abit of Voices. Omg, finally experienced what the seniors experienced. We do alittle bit alr so tiring :x So many ponches. Have to keep pushing non-stop and going up and down. Like a crazy. Tired :/

Hey you, yes you, you should noe that im referring to you. I love you I miss you but what to do. You said you'll get over me one day... I must be really selfish having the thought " Please dont forget me, please dont forget us" ... Sigh... How I wish we were meant to be and that we'll find our way back. Lol such wishful thinking... Anyways.. Don't be sad anymore uhh.. You can't do anything bout it. Life is like that. You just gotta accept that fact. You can't keep being moodless and sad. You have a fucking life. I told you that i'll be here for you, so don't fucking bottle up ur feelings. I really want to be there for you. When your sad or happy. Fucking feel like some dog -.- Zzz. But... Idk why am I like this. I usually just fuck care these kinda person; but I really want to help you ? ._. Yeah I bet you don't need me anyways. You got many friends out there. Its ur choice uh .. If you read this, sorry for my ranting and complains but I really can't stand there and watch you die. I cant help worrying bout ur shit.

End of post .

Rants .

2011-05-23T22:20:00.000+08:00

Hello ! This post gonna be mostly bout how I really felt today. Today felt so .. *&!^&#@^$%! Like so much mixed feelings.

Woke up in the morn, realised derr wasnt coming sch. See la, pangseh ): So went to slack with sabrina, nicole and debbie. Kinda awkward cos I felt so left out :x Reached sch. First period was home econs. Ruth wong made some bar thingy. Like super sweet and gooey. Dont really like it D: ... Romzee didnt come today, mr kalai reliefed. When he relieves, he always shows us epic videos. Kinda boring though. Then for eng, went to com lab to do some test. Got 1312 for my score. Kinda good ? (: Aft sch, went to lunch with lynn, jas and nicole at Saybon. They have awesome crepes ^^ Ex but yummy ~ Then went to slack awhile with jas and nicole then went home.

Gonna start ranting now :x EH FUCK YOU I REALLY MISS YOU LA KNN. Really wonder if you missed me. I wonder how you feel bout me now. Ughh, how I wish I can read your mind. I missed you so fucking bad when not seeing you. Like constantly thinking bout u. Fuck it la. How I wish you still would hug me in those way and kiss me like before. But that would nvr happen agn. Im just an ordinary friend to you. A girl that just walk past in your life.. Oh fucitol ._. You won't even bother I bet... Those were only just a dream... Nth will happen between us anymore... Im not important to you as how I was last time anymore... I love you. I still do. I didn't hate you. Idk why. I just can't bear to. Everyday is just a fucking torture that I noe in my mind nth would happen between us anymore. There isn't any chance at all .. Felt so stupid crying while talking to you just now. Just fucking miss you.. I dun wanna let go.. But I know I have to move on... Sighh....

Oh yeah you said this was tiring. Means no chance at all. FUCKITALL -'-

Alright buhbye imma go file stuff.

End of post .

Second nightmare .

2011-05-22T17:21:00.001+08:00

Heyyy (: Celebrated brandon's birthday ytd. Food was awesome and I think I put on more fats ._. Ate like 2 pieces of cake cos it was so yummy. Had a nightmare again. I think my mind must be crazy. Having 2 nightmares in less than a week. Im scared of slping alr ._.

Dreamt that theres a spider. Those kinda baby toy big spider. It was red and black ._. Its somehow poisonous and could kill. It was jumping around the whole class almost biting everyone and den it came to my seat. It was gonna bite my leg. Den I woke up. Almost screamed; wtf . So shitty uhh.

Internet lagging these days. !@#^&@* FEDUP . Really making me lose my patience. Feel like smacking the comp. But its okay now ! (:

Oh yeah, was playing around with photoscape just now :

Hehehehehehe ~

Gonna go to uncle's hse later. Hmm today happens to be Damien's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY (:

Not gonna patch with derr alr. Even though we're not meant to be, we can still be frens (: I'll miss you. I'll definitely fucking miss you. We'll still slack right ? Like how we used to. Hugs still acceptable (: I'll really miss those kisses and holding hands. Can we do that agnnnnnnnnnn ? Ohmygosh I must be crazy. Like you would do that... Late nite convos ? Can ? :/ IMISSYOUTTVFM. Alright ... Buhbyee ♥

End of post .

Once bitten twice shy .

2011-05-20T23:13:00.000+08:00

People have been telling me to reject you. Cos they said " Do it once, do it twice ", which means that you'll do it again. Really scared that will happen agn. I asked you and you said " idk " Arghhh. Can't you just be sure. Are you just wanting me back cos you're not used to single life ? Sorry, you might think that im doubting you. But I don't know how you really feel bout me... And its not that I don't trust you.. If you really loved me... Why would you do those things to hurt me... Lol, I don't think you repented yet. Your full of confidence of getting me back. Don't put your confidence that high.. Cos im not sure that i'll accept you. Maybe even if I don't accept you would just pass it off and really forget bout me; like its so fucking easy .

If you aren't willing to change or if you want me back just cos you aren't used to single life; then just forget bout patching. Really pointless if thats the reason. I really want you back... But with this kind of attitude... Its just like the same as before. No one will be happy. Pointless fuck. You don't make me feel secured.. Like making me think that you really love me and you wont lie and do all those fucked up heartbreaking shit agn...

Somehow same kind of situation in the pic -.-

All these was why the reason I was so fustrated just now. Kept thinking bout those stuff I said earlier on. I don't wanna drag anymore. Its just hurting my heart. I don't wanna suffer the same kind of treatment as last time's one. Just tell me please; how you feel.

End of post .

Nightmare .

2011-05-19T22:58:00.003+08:00

Hello. Had normal sch lessons, except that during maths, we slacked. Mr haw didnt come, so we kinda played. Pichu had foundation. Den we keep playing it on ppl. Lh go put on my face ): Kavinath did the most epic, putting it all over his face xD ahaha. The tone on reddy's skin and the foundation is like (Y) Im no racist k :P

Had no dance today, so went to slack awhile before going home. Went to slp. I HAD A NIGHTMARE. Here it goes:

Went out with derrick. Hmm I was tgt with him. We didn't break. We met at somewhere at bishan. Then suddenly the ground shook, the hdb flats moved towards us abit. Went shopping at some place that looked like bugis junction. Then suddenly we went into minitoons and he bought lots of stuff like a big stitch, big pooh bear, wallets and other things, all for his pri sch girl friends. Then he went to pass it to his fren to give it out. The sky was dark, somehow I knew that it was gonna rain badly and 2012 was gonna come. Everyone knew that. Some shops closed and some were still open. Went to a restaurant. Shannon lee was inside. I asked her where everyone gonna go before the earthquake happens. She said they were gonna go beverly hills O.O Den I saw my daddy at some cafe, he said " I think gonna have earthquake alr eh, faster go home hor. We gonna go somewhere hide" Den I was like " orh" Went off with derrick. I knew we were gonna die and can't spend time with him anymore. So I said " Baby can by me a ribbon? " But we went to look at some but didn't buy. Then went out to the entrance. Suddenly the ground shook violently and we both gripped on each other. Then it shook more and derr got pushed away by the force. I fell down and started to scream and cry ._.

I woke up, panting heavily. Almost cried. wtf ); Ahhh. Scared to slp alr. Shall make myself tired den slp ._. Alright buhbye .

End of post.

Fiction and fact .

2011-05-18T23:39:00.001+08:00

Heyy .

Abt ytd. DAMN FUN ♥ Teehee. Derrick and Jodan came my hse to help out with my grp's lava. Thanks guys ♥ (: First spotted them while driving past the bus stop, den ask daddy to alight me somewhere and went to find them. Den brought them up the hse. They went into my room. Threesome on the bed; my bed was almost breaking ._. Jodan sit down the bed so hard. Den they anyhow take my bolster and stitch and just hug it. Slacked awhile den went to do the photoboard. They stayed for dinner, parents cooked chicken rice. Then derrick went off first. Jodan went of like 10+ . Freaking late that my parents kept on asking why he dun needa go home ._.

Had sch today. Dont like today. Kinda screw up :/ Had normal lessons. Alsagoff's period was boring -.- Almost fell asleep but couldn't. She'll scold. Lester damn suey. Dono who go paotou him den ms phua found out bout him cursing her on fb ._. Goshh. I should take precaution.

Went to do photoboard today. Took some shots in the classroom, then went to playground to take too. Derr, piyabut and jodan were playing around. LOL damn joke. Spinning on that thing, den whole vision went spinning. Crazy bodohs. Went home aft that.

Prove it to me that you're worth it and I should give us a chance. If you aren't willing to give in then forget it... Cos like you said last time.. In a relationship there is a need to give in and take. You can't be so selfish in love. Life is unfair. Yeah, thats just an excuse kay -.- I keep on wondering if you want me back, its just cos ur not used to it or ur just despo :/ Time will tell. I dun wanna be a girl you want. I wanna be a girl you need. I dun wanna make the same mistake and be unhappy again.

Oh yes, dance is resuming from tmr, den gonna have idp from 31st may till 4june . Gonna get leotard tanned lines agn ._.

Alright, buhbye.

End of post.

California king bed .

2011-05-16T19:36:00.000+08:00

Nihao !

16 May. Hmm my grandma's death anniversary today. Parents alr prayed to her on sat. I miss her ); All those yummy chicken wings and food she cooked. Nvr get to taste the same agn.

Slacked at playground before going to sch with derrick and fuyi. Its a good thing that we're still frens (: Hope I wont lose him. HI SOTONG ! IF UR READING THIS, ILOVEYOU FREN ! (: ♥ I want a portable-human-heater hug can :/ Really miss it.

First period was ruth wong's. Did sewing agn. Haish, my sewing isn't that good ._. Did the hemming. Didnt really sew properly, so it wasn't really well done. Its my first time doing, so I hope nxt time if I do it will be better (: Then it was recess.

Had sci. Now I noe why romzee so slow and late -.- When its alr 12, and his period starts at 11.55, he's still at some other class teaching. Hari didnt come today, was so lonely in class ): Realised that even without hari making me laugh or what, I cant concentrate in romzee's lesson. Cant absorb even if I try to. I'll try my best then.. And i'll study myself ...

Hist aft that. Slacked most of the period. Vanessa's helix bleed for the 2nd time today. Infection. Eeyerrrr. Damn gross. Hope it gets well soon. Its like a thing protrude out . Like a fresh wound, but a bump :/

Eng period. Didnt greet ms phua and she made me greet her individually ._. Did a little filing. And she corrected my eng marks. 27/50 ! :D one mark more (: Even though its not high, at least I passed rite (: Did eng corrections for a compre den got released.

No sch tmr, vesak day. Morn wake up early go pray, den gonna do lava photoboard tmr, der and jodan's coming my hse. Swee. Alright, gonna go to chong pang for dinner. Buhbye ! (:

End of post .

Erasing you from my heart .

2011-05-15T18:04:00.000+08:00

Hiii . Blogged since I have nth to do. I realised my bro deleted me from his fb -'- fcking bastard. Nvm, at least he won't stalk me and go tell my mum shits that he guessed (: Did nth much today. Havent print out elearning shit yet. If my printer doesn't work, i'll die badly ._. Hope it works. Oh yeah shittt. Home econs poster. ahhh. Mummy said just now that we're going out, I dont think we are now ): Wtc I needa restock my closet. I don't have much clothes now ...

Im almost forgetting him (: Don't really think of him much these few days alr, OH YEAHHHH ~ Alright, nth more to say alr. Buhbyee ~

End of post .

If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in a river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song.

2011-05-14T17:18:00.000+08:00

Heyy. Blogger didnt work ytd, so cant blog. Shall blog today (:

Oh yes. E-learning is over! :DD

Woke up in the morning and found my relatives streaming in the house. They just finished praying my grandma's death anniversary with my parents. Then mummy went to make breakfast. Kept on cooking till theres lots of food. But I didnt eat cos I didnt like :P hehe. Ate roti prata and drank milo instead. Likeaspecial ~

Did nth much, just completed hist assignment. Oh yeah, I still needa make the home econs poster. Oh well, fck care it. Talked to matthew recently. Hmm entertaining.

Oh yeah, Happy first monthsary to linhui and timotheus ♥ ! Domo will always love tuna. Tuna better treasures her. Hope he will like that domo lh drew for him.

Gotta bathe soon alr, buhbye ! (:

End of post.

On rainy days .

2011-05-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

Hellloooo. Second day of e-learning today. I woke up later. Hehe. Quickly did the assignments aft that. Omg, why I so stupid to txt him last nite. Today txted a few msges back den nvr reply le -'- bastard. Must get over you ._. Txted chongzhe from last nite till today. Lol. Lynnnn. Webcammed with lynn and jas, although I dont have one. Only see their faces. Then went to lunch with them at j8 subway and quickly rushed back home. Ahh. Theres no more maths elearning ! Only ytd's one. And I did so badly D: AHHHH. Maths CA1 overall sure fail one );

Lynn and I camwhored ytd, not much, but pretty (:

Alrightt. Gtg alr. Buhbyeeeeeeeee !

End of post .

Going crazy .

2011-05-11T18:41:00.001+08:00

Helloo .

Had e-learning in the morning, lynn came to my hse to do. I was still slping when she came, got out of bed when she asked me to. Hahaha. Wifeyy ♥ Den switched on the comp and started e-learning. Maths was crap. So fcking hard. So just tikam and got 2/15 :x Did hist, gonna print out later. Then did eng; 25/30 :D Teehee ! Did geog, then went down mac for lunch. Seriously the mac downstairs my hse service damn jialat ._. Damn slow. And they only gave me 4 nuggets when I ordered 6 ): Talked abt lotsa crappy stuff. Poke you upside down ! Joke ttm. Den walked home. Kept on checking for sci e-learning, but cant find. In the end other classes received, and not mine ): Romzee has a prob. Den annabel said her mum called the sch and they said the teacher wasn't there, don't do it and when sch reopens, they'll give the hardcopy (Y) No sci e-learning ~

Wtf, these days when I see you, I feel like im not getting over u but loving u more. wtf -.- zzz. Those tumblr fotos on top ^ are like so true. Really describe how I feel. I really wonder how you feel bout me.. You don't even seem to bother anymore .. Sigh ..

End of post.

Kiss that rose .

2011-05-10T22:02:00.001+08:00

Heyyy. Received back results today, results aren't really that good. Failed 2, passed the rest . Topped hist and geog in class ^^ Hehe. I hardcore spotted a few mistakes so ms phua would increase my mark for eng. It was actually 24 ._. Sigh. Compo mark cant be changed, cant do anything. And wtf. I could've passed maths i not for those careless mistakes ! UGHHH ): Cant spot anything for sci too. Ahhhh ):

English : 16/30

Literature : 26/50

Maths : 28/60

Science: 22.5/60

Chinese: 44/70

History : 36/50

Geography : 44/50

Aft sch, ate lunch with lynn and jas at kfc . Den went home (:

Walked past u, had that skip-a-heartbeat feeling. Like nervous only. Like how ppl feel when they have a crush on you. But u just simply look away and walked. Nice one. Brian say u lan lan, not happy with the r/s. Sigh I really don't know what u thinking. Heard on twitter ur very depressed. Hope you'll just read this. I hope you don't hate me for any mere reason. At most lets stay as frens. Really dont wanna lose a person like you . I'll be here for you if you need me alright ...

End of post .

You're my weakest point .

2011-05-09T18:26:00.000+08:00

Heyy .

Did nth much today. Guess im pms-ing a little. Been using the comp for the whole day. Bored shit. Talked to jasmine the whole day too. Sighh. The weather must be crazy these days. Even the wind that is blown in thru the balcony is hot hair ._. Just by sitting down using the comp i'll sweat. Decided to tie my hair up aft so long.

You know, trust takes time to build and seconds to be broken. Yeah, u broke it. It'll be hard to trust you again. So what? Even if jeremy said u weren't even serious bout me, and I believed, but it wasn't true, u did those wrong things. If that girl linked arms with u, u could've just let go right ? No more feelings, and you don't even care. Whats the point of saying sorry ?

I want u back. Yeah I can't believe I have this feeling. Maybe im just not used to being single ? Or isit I really want you back. But thinking of those things, and since you don't have feelings for me and don't even care, I must as well give up on you.

Having bad mixed feelings now. Just feel like breaking down. Alright, bye .

End of post .

Happy Mother's Day ♥

2011-05-08T17:48:00.000+08:00

Heyyy (:

Mummy loves the present I gave to her. Pics here :

Good thing she likes it ! (:

Reached home at 4am ytd ._. So freaking tired. Washed up and changed, and slept at 4.30am. Woke up around 12.30pm today. Wonder why I only slept for 8h. I usually sleep more than 10h when im really tired. Weird. I opened my eyes, and straight away, thought about u. Sighs.

I texted u. I told u I missed u, and u told me to try not to. Sigh.. What to do ? When we were tgt, u didn't really texted me that much during the day and I thought I could live without u like the same even if im alone. But it feels worse... I missed u more than how I used to. I feel so fcking useless, I cant even handle my life well.

Jasmine tries to cheer me up, thanks alot babe ♥

Gonna go bathe now. Later gonna go celebrate mother's day at a restaurant (: Buhbyee.

End of post .

End it with a smile. (:

2011-05-06T20:49:00.000+08:00

Heyy ((:

Last day of exams today, last day of me and him.

Maths was kinda okay. Managed to do the front part, but some of the back part was hard ): Hope I pass. Realise i didn't put much effort into MYEs. Sighs. I could study maths, but cos of someone, totally made me thinking bout him and distracted me.

Went home aft exams, den changed and went out . Went to nex with lynn and jas. Thanks for making my day bright ♥ (: Was walking around the whole nex. Played with nail polish and kept on joking aroung. We were thinking of buying mothers day's present. Went to arcade, saw damien and shihui. Damien was max-tuning .

Sent lynn to the taxi stand den went to bugis with jas. Bought some accessories, pretty ^^ . Den we thought of wad to do for mother's day alr (: Will take post it when its done .

To you, yes you :

If you read this, thanks for still bothering to visit my blog (: Like what i've said in those msges, thanks for all the shit ^^ But yeah, some were best memories. Thanks for cheering me up when I was down. Nvr failed to make me smile. Yeah, war on twitter. Whatever. Soon maybe u'll just hate me and keep on gl me. Really wonder why are you like this. Lying .. Cheating . Whose that girl anyway. Disappointed. U made me feel that ur not damien's duplicate. But ur worse than him. Yeah, i can't believe im sad over you. Just too bad for me. And fuck; i'll miss you .

end of post .

Bang wall die sua .

2011-05-05T16:22:00.000+08:00

Hello. Haven't posted for many many days. Was using mummy's fone to fb and tweet and didn't feel like using the comp. Exams started on tues.

Tues was eng and geog . Quite okay uhh. Hopefully can pass :x Then when I was home, suddenly some guy come prank call me.

"Hello are you huimin? "

" Yeah ? "

" Umm Im ur form teacher, ms phua's friend. You see, in your recent english test you did very badly, and she wants you to come back for remedial. "

" WHAT? REALLY? I did very bad in my test ? The recent one? The one I took today? My common test?!"

"Uhh yeahh.. So anyway, your remedial will be at Jurong. "

" Huh ? Jurong ? Wth ? By her ?"

" Uhh no. By mr ong ."

" Ohh. Uhh when ? "

" Tmr, 9am. Please pay $50 per lesson. "

" Huh ? Tmr I got common test eh ! "

" Nevermind, just skip it. *people giggling behind* "

" Wth who are you ?"

" Hahaha. Uhh do u noe who is umar?"

" Uhh yeah ? "

" If you think he's handsome, don't put down the fone. If you think he's not, put down the fone . "

" OI WHO YOU"

" Oh you think he's handsome ah !"

*hangs up call*

Wth. the prank call was crap ah. Waste time only. Asked umar. He don't know who aso. Im so gullible, in the start of the fone call ):

On wed, had sci and chi . Sci was abit hard. Can't really rmb the formulas .... And during chi exam, upper sec was blasting party rock anthem :D Den keep on whistling. It was free enjoyment. So didn't really concentrate. But I managed to in the end !

Today was hist and lit. Hist was hard ! ): Kept on writing. Write till hand pain ! Ahhh . Wrote till my paper was so messy. It was like, my hand was so pain till I can't control its movements. Lit paper.. hmm it was okay.. But i've always failed my lit tests this yr.. So I hope I will pass ): The media literacy part was hard. Our class so special, no media quiz or test b4, while other classes all have. So we didn't have an idea on what a media test will be like. HOPE I PASS ):

Oh yes, in the morning, phua confiscated my socks. Along with van's, lh's, shann's, shark's . Zzz. irritating . And aft exams, we went to find her, she said she threw away -.- She's so not eco-friendly ! Tsk !

Tmr is maths ! The only paper. And the last day. Omfg im so scaredd . So less chance i'll pass. The 2 line graph is tested. And I wasn't paying attention in class for that. Even if I did pay attention, I still wont get it. So yeah ...

Hopefully mummy will allow me go out tmr :/ She's changed ._. Like overnite. She gives me abit more freedom now? And doesn't really kp. Its scary.

Sighs, don't really get to spend time with him so much alr. Maybe its cos of exams? But anyways, I shall respect his private time.

Just keep on saying " later wait u angry " really makes me feel so speechless; make me feel so bad. I really miss you loads. Now its like theres a sense of awkwardness . When we're walking.. No one really talks. On the phone.. Sometimes its kinda silent too. Really hate it sometimes when u just sua the topic. Can't we just settle it once and for all,, so the prob wouldn't come back agn ? U said i kept on complaining. Den I dun complain in ur face uh. Oh wait it isn't called complaining. Its just voicing out. In the past I was just so afraid to voice out as I was afraid smth might happen. But my blog is my diary. I can write whatever I want in my diary. So yeah (: Idgaf.

Alright, gonna study maths alr. Buhbyee ~

End of post .

29 ♥

2011-04-29T23:50:00.001+08:00

Happy 1st Monthsary baby ! ♥

Heyyy (: Went too sch as usual today . Ms Phua wasn't in school. YAYYYY (Y) But she damn kiasu uh. Ytd nite send 1 msg, den today morn 5.34am send one, den 9 plus send another one -.- Had false hopes. Thought it was baby or syazwan's . Oh well.

Aft sch, stayback for awhile for chi. Den went to meet baby opp sch. Sian ahh. Eat sweet somemore, eat somemore ): ... Went to subway and eat, he treat. Ate with him, fuyi and piyabut. Actually wanted to meet lynn and jas. But lynn wanted to eat smth else, so yeah, they went off and i stayed with baby.

Last min write baby a card. Hmm . Kinda plain cos it was last min. Den went home alone aft that..

Watched Royal wedding while otp with Jasmine ♥

Balcony kiss ♥ :

HOW I LOVE TODAY (: ♥

Alright, buhbye .

End of post.

Saying sorry ain't gonna change anything .

2011-04-27T22:55:00.000+08:00

Nihao !

Omgosh baby read my previous blog post -.- I was hoping he was like damien, dun even bother to really look thru. But yeah, baby read it. Baby stop apologising okay. I just have to get used to it and that will be okay; i guess ? I guess i've been a fail gf recently. Or maybe from the start. I guess I wasn't understanding enough... I should be more understanding bah. I noe you can't be with me 24/7, but ur heart will always be with me right ?

You should stop saying sorry. It ain't gonna change anything. You are alr trying ur best I guess. Yeah, relationships are abt give and take. But baby, you should always try. You shouldn't give up. Cos if theres a will, theres a way (: And if you try, you have a chance of achieving.

Hope everything will be alright ... (:

Buhbye .

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